Prema can...

The other day Prema and I were making her a "Prema Can..." book. It is a book with 6 pictures of things Prema can do herself with easy to read repetative text. Prema can sweep. Prema can draw. Prema can dance. Prema can strong sit. Prema can swing. Prema can jump. The point is that she can read the book herself and memorize reading her name and the word "can".

As I was trying to create this book with her, I was stumped about the possibilities for each page. Its hard to think of things Prema can actually do herself. Her inabilities are so numerous that we often get caught up on those. Yet as I was rocking Eli today and watching her put together a 100 piece puzzle I began to think about all the things Prema can do since her arrival in the States on June 2 2006 (13 1/2 months ago). She has come a long way. We often feel like she could be further along or that we could have taught her more (Michelle), but that is mostly when we forget to count all the little things she has learned that others just don't have an idea she couldn't do before (especially self care things).

when she arrived her abilities and behaviors were pretty much equivilant to 6-18 months old. She could feed herself with her hands and awkwardly with a spoon and fork, she never stayed in one place, always got into everything, and could tell us she had to toilet with her own made up sign (grabbing herself). She could also walk but fell all the time.

But now Prema can...
crawl backwards, sweep and swab the kitchen floor, clean the bathroom, make beds and change their sheets, put away silverware, tie her shoes, run for 3 minutes without stopping, alternate her arms moving them across her body (cross crawls), complete 100 piece puzzles on her own (couldn't do toddler puzzles when she arrived), identify all 25 letters of the alphabet, identify many numbers 1-10, use the toilet the American way (this mean learning to use toilet paper), zip her coat, put a belt on, brush her teeth, brush her hair and put in a ponytail holder, strong sit 10 minutes (meditative sitting style facing wall), use fork spoon and knife, set the table, shower herself (including adjusting the water temperature), draw a circle, express some basic feelings, read her picture chore chart, snap, button, ask for things ("mom please..."), sign some children's books, lock and unlock doors, open doors, pull weeds, blow bubbles in the pool, stay on the left side of the road when walking/ running, look and wait for cars to cross the street, pump herself on the swing, climb various play structures, jump into pool herself, draw a person, write letters in her name except "e", match family member names to their pictures, identify extended family members and their relation, sort items, clean up the table after dinner, pretend play, fold clothes, take out the trash, follow 1-3 step directions, and communicate (has a large vocabulary in ASL and is putting signs together to tell stories)!!! There are probably some things I am even forgetting.

Sometimes this list seems huge and sometimes it seems small. But what I often loose perspective on is all the countless failed attempts and training it took to accomplish these things. None of it could have happened much faster. When you are working with a 10 year old brain that has been damaged by all the trauma she has endured, things take time. But the amazing thing is that a brain so badly damaged can heal and make new connections that didn't exist before.

Way to go Prema! And I have to give Kyle, myself and all the others who have helped us a pat on the back too. A year of acheivement at the cost of a lot of stress, many days and nights of fighting, thoughts of hopelessness, thoughts of regret, limited ability to leave the house, our family unable to enjoy things together and much more. Hopefully this next year will be filled with more joy, more success, more laughter, and more hope.