A Taste of the Real Deal

Eli started eating cereal this week. He is basically just tasting it once a day and isn't quite sure what he thinks about it. His first feeding was fun with lots of "conversation" from the little guy. He's been a lot of fun....talking up a storm, laughing, and loving his ability to roll over and hang in the johnny jump up.

Our Date

Every Friday morning Isaac and mommy go on a date. This idea started when we realized that Isaac needed some extra special time with mommy to balance out the needs of Prema and now Eli. Isaac gets to choose where we go. His favorite spot is the Starbucks in between our Home Depot and grocery store Publix (the best grocery store in all the world!!) This became Isaac's favorite place to go when we retreated away from the choas one time and watched the Home Depot forklift work outside the coffee shop. Each visit Isaac hopes we see the forklift working. If it is not working we drive to the back of the store just to catch a glimpse of it resting in its parking stall. If there is no forklift action happening, Isaac enjoys sitting at the coffee bar watching the baristas make all of the customers' drinks. Each visit to Starbucks (aka "hot tea store" for Isaac) Isaac enjoys a "hot tea" (warm milk), blueberry muffin and the whipped cream off of mom's drink. He commentates to the baristas about what they are doing. "You are stacking the cups." "You are pouring the milk." He keeps repeating his comments until they respond. Sometimes this can take them a while to catch on that the little kid is not going to stop talking until they respond.

Contrary to popular belief...

Eli's chubbiness is not slowing him down. Yesterday Eli rolled over for the first time at 3 months 1 week and 2 days old. Since his first success he is trying to roll over all the time. We have now entered into the difficult diapering stage. He is a lot of fun to watch. He is very proud of himself when he is realizes what he has done.

We still think his rolls are very cute. Last night we were laughing at his "accordian" legs.

Beach Times

We've been having a lot of fun at the beach these days. We go almost every weekend late in the afternoon. Isaac and Prema enjoy swimming in the water and digging in the sand. Eli is content to just hang out under the umbrella. This last weekend the kids really enjoyed some big holes that others had dug before our arrival.

Up Up Up and Away

Photo Share: This photo was taken by Uncle Sam the last weekend in April just before Eli was born. Isaac loves to have Kyle throw him up in the air.

Brain Day

Prema was sporting this look today. This morning we left the house at 5:15 a.m. to take Prema to the hospital an MRI. She had to be sedated in order to keep her head still for 20 minutes. She was pretty freaked out knowing she was going to be put to sleep and remembering her oral surgery experience this last October. Once that was done we went to her 9:00 a.m. appointment at the neurologist for her EEG appointment. There they put the electrodes on her head for a 24 hour ambulitory EEG. Throughout the day we have been recording her activities and pressing a black button for recording whenever we see something we are concerned about. About a half hour before bedtime Prema showed us she had caught on to the procedure. She would stare into space or rapidly blink her eyes, wait a minute and then look at us to press the black button. Tomorrow morning we go back to the neurologist for them to remove the electrodes. On the 15th we return again for them to tell us the results. We are not sure when we will be given the results of the MRI. We are hoping that both tests will give us some insight into what is actually going on in her brain (i.e. brain damage, seizures, developmental delays not due to lack of schooling, etc). We are also doing chromosome and genetic testing to hopefully give us answers about her family and prenatal history.

A Lesson to be Learned

One day during rest time Prema decided that she would destroy a cassette tape. The tape happened to be a book on tape from the library. Now dare ask why a deaf child has a book on tape in her room during rest time...that would be mom's fault for not removing it and Prema's curiosity and desire to explore the object to not draw my attention to the fact that it was in the library book boxes. When I discovered the cassette after rest time I started to attempt to rewind it for her. As I became frustrated with the task I decided Prema would learn nothing from me mom fixing her mistake. I recalled the proper thing to do in Reactive Attachment Therapy/ Parenting : make it her concern and her problem to fix. Prema does not have the ability to rewind the cassette herself, but she can do extra chores to earn money to pay the library for a new cassette or the wage for a librarian assistant to do the job. We determined that she needed $10 to cover the cost. Over the course of a couple weeks she pulled weeds, cleaned bathrooms, scrubbed floors and dusted. We payed her minimum wage for each chore based on how long it would take us to complete the task (this idea came from RAD parenting techniques and works great---you can never over pay and really helps you decide what is fair).

On Monday Prema had collected all ten dollars. Tuesday morning we went to the library to return the book and cassette. Prema gave them her $10 dollars and handed over the book and cassette. A bit later the librarian tracked us down and gave us back the book and tape explaining to me that she was informed that we now owned them since they would need to order new books. As I bounced fussy Eli on my hip and checked on Prema to make sure she didn't interact inappropriately with the librarian I graciously took the book and tape and placed it in our stroller to take home. As I drove home I wondered what I was thinking taking the book and cassette back. What is Prema thinking now? Hopefully I didn't destroy a valuable lesson. Prema may now think we destroy things only to pay for them and own them.

This lesson was the first time we could really see restitution really work as we have heard in RAD therapy. Each time we reminded Prema of why she was working she was willing to work. And when she returned the cassette she looked ashamed as I explained the incident and then at peace as she handed over her hard earned money. As Prema continues to deal with her anger, sadness and fear related to her abondonment and adoption she continues to destory things, hurt people and make people mad. As she begins to form her conscience knowing her behavior is unacceptable she needs ways to reconcile the damage and hurts in order to allow herself to heal and move on. If damage or hurts are left without restitution they only continue to add to her psyche of low self esteem and unworthy of love.

Little brother Isaac is also learning from Prema's mistakes. The other day when he damaged something he told us he needed to work now for money. He went to Prema's chore chart and told us he was going to go and make the bed. We advised him that he is showing his cards a little too much (telling us how much he undestands and knows) and that he doesn't fully understand yet how easy life is for him and he might wish to keep his knowlege a little low key before expectations become equal to that of Prema's.