cullum family

How to choose a President

2012-01-27T08:20:00.000-08:00

Isaac, after watching several GOP debates with me and hearing many adults discuss the candidates, has decided that he would vote for Romney. According to Isaac, Romney's name fits best into the Presidents Song we sing for Classical Conversations (our homeschool curriculum). Romney is not who Kyle and I plan to vote for on Tuesday, so Isaac has not been influenced by our thoughts. His criteria is quite comical to me.

I hope you all take the opportunity to vote in your primary election in the coming days and months. Your vote counts!

A nick on the stairs

2012-01-16T06:31:00.001-08:00

We love our new home. One of the luxuries of building your home is the ability to choose the layout and finishes. Kyle and I both really like the craftsman/bungalow style home. Two reasons I love the style is because it reminds me of the homes in downtown Madison that I always used to love walking past, and secondly because the stain wood finishes. Hence we chose to have hardwood floors in our new home. Some people may think that is a crazy choice given that we have very high energy boys and a very clumsy daughter. Our floors will certainly have imperfections as it is impossible to keep them from spilling, dropping or hitting something on the floors and trim. Today Isaac dropped a his toy gun on the stairs after being told the gun was not allowed in the house earlier in the morning. He obeyed the first time but his pretend play overruled his desire to thoroughly obey later. Although I would love for my new wood stairs to look perfect, the reality is that my stairs and floors tell the truth about our family. We are not perfect. Instead my stairs and floors tell the story of our life within the walls of our home, a story I will be grateful to still have when the children are grown and out of the house. I love the look of the wood and I also love the stories it tells. I am grateful for a piece of advice I learned when working through Reactive Attachment Therapy with Prema: the child is much more important than the furniture and house.

A few pictures of Isaac and his gun. The WWII replica gun and helmet, coon hat, and adventure vest were Christmas gifts this year. Eli also received a coon hat and adventure vest along with a cowboy hat with pistol. We are much safer now in the Cullum home.

Typical Weeknight

2012-01-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

Third post in a short span of time. WOW!!! Don't get too used to it yet. I probably will find myself on a long hiatus here soon.
Here's a snippet of life in our house these days after dinner. The three oldest playing together loudly and energetically. Kyrie is 6 weeks old now and already cooing away. Today she even wouldn't continue nursing after a burp break until she "chatted" a bit. I don't ever remember the boys doing this at such a young age. I think we have a talker on our hands.

Just before this video we got the results of Eli's allergy tests from the doctor. He was tested for the most common food, and indoor and outdoor allergies. Test was negative for everything except for indoor dust and mold. He scored a 3 on a scale of 1-6. So now I need to keep on top of the dust in our house in order to keep Eli's reaction to a minimum. His allergy is probably the reason that he had a reoccurring cold the past month or more when the rest of us were remaining healthy or only having the cold once.

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T08:20:00.000-08:00

This is how our family rung in the New Year.

We have not gone camping since Eli was 1 year old. That experience, although fun, included a tent filled with water by morning. The boys have been asking to camp again so we thought we would play it safe first and have them camp out in the backyard first.

Last night's camping experience included
- an extensive incense treatment to deodorize the tent
- a plethora of bathroom trips by Eli within the first hour (at least 5 or more)
- several reminders to calm down and go to sleep between 8:30 and 9:30 p.m.
- Kyle sleeping on the concrete porch with mats and sleeping bags just outside the tent since the sleeping quarters were a wee bit tight with 3 kids and 1 adult.
- Eli sneaking in the house sometime in the wee hours to get a banana to eat.
- Isaac determining they heard "something" outside the tent and therefore he needed to "cock his pistol" (pretend gun) to prepare for what may come. The pistol was in the tent with them for protection.
- Kyle moving inside and sleeping on the floor in the family room since his sleeping bag made him too hot and any body part not in the sleeping bag was too cold.
- Kyrie and I sleeping in our own beds in the comfort of our home. BLISS
- Joyful "campers" waking up asking "When can we go camping again?"

Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Cullum for lending us your camping gear and setting up the tent with the boys.

Happy New Year!!!

Kyrie Grace Cullum

2011-12-20T16:29:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the world Kyrie Grace Cullum! Kyrie (KEE-ree-yay) is Greek for "Lord". Our little girl entered the world on November 22, 2011 at 7:48p.m. at Breath of Life birth center in Largo, Florida. She weighed 9lbs 0.5 oz.

It was a wonderful birth experience; our first at a birth center. Kyrie was 9 days late, so I decided (with the approval of my midwife) to take castor oil the morning of the birth. By 3:30 pm the first contractions started. By 6:30 we left for the birth center and 1 hour and 15 minutes later she was born. While at the birth center I was able to hang out in the birthing tub for majority of the time. I am not sure if the water actually reduces the pain that much but it certainly helped me to stay relaxed and let things happen. Kyrie was born in the water. Kyle was able to catch her which brought him great joy. Once Kyrie was born we hung out in the birth suite for 4 hours and then went home. During those 4 hours our children visited and we learned a lot about the natural instincts of a baby and ways to welcome baby into the world. It was a very relaxing and pleasant experience. We also were grateful to be able to come home so early and sleep in our own bed.

The next few days I stayed upstairs in our bedroom resting and taking care of Kyrie while Kyle took care of the older children and household needs. It was so great to be able to have everyone at home and the older children could come up stairs as they wished for short periods to say "hi" to Kyrie, smother her with kisses and see me. A much more pleasant experience than a hospital room setting.

Isaac, Eli and Prema have adjusted very well to having a baby sister. It is joy to see them rise to the occasion in terms of helping me out, being more independent in tasks I used to help them with, and loving Kyrie. There are clearly moments when you see each of them struggling or desiring more attention, but we are so relieved that all 3 are doing as well as they are doing.

Kyrie has been a joy as well. She is plumping up nicely. She didn't lose any baby weight and weighed 10 lbs 2 oz by her 2 week visit.

Isaac's 2nd Triathlon

2011-06-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

Isaac completed his 2nd Triathlon this Father's Day weekend. I forgot to bring my camera, so I don't have any personal pictures. However Grandma Cullum had her camera and posted those on another blog. link here.

Play Ball!!!

2011-06-09T17:02:00.000-07:00

This is how every Rocker game starts each day at the Cullum house. (Rockers are the imaginary baseball team the boys have. For their birthday they received "official" Rocker Jerseys and hats which they are not sporting at this time because they are in the wash. Every morning after breakfast the boys go outside to play the Rocker's 1st game of the day. The Rockers believe it or not have won the World Series about 3 times in the last month. Every game has very enthusiastic and loud commentating done by the boys.)

clearly we need to work on learning the words of the National Anthem :) Usually the words are just as jumbled each morning but there is no hesitation between them. Instead they sing the errors with confidence. The camera distracted them a bit

Pouring the slab

2011-04-07T16:50:00.001-07:00

Once we had the dirt up to the right level a plumbing company layed out the plumbing, Kyle layed out the electrical, and Kyle and David layed out the visqueen and the wire mesh. A mason company poured and smoothed the slab.

More Strong Foundation

2011-04-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

Once the footer is poured and dried we had to remove all of the footer forms (wood). Then we had to dig through all of the sand that was "inside" the house. Since this lot has a lot of oak trees we had to remove all organic material (tree roots, etc) so that as the years pass the dead organic material doesn't leave air pockets which would lead to our slab sinking in places. Some people would just get rid of the old dirt and not do this sifting process, but that is not as cheap. Once we cleaned out all the exhisting dirt the footer wall built (not by us). Once the footer wall was set up we spent weeks pouring and compacting new dirt up to the appropriate level for the slab. The kids were fantastic with helping out with this entire process. They pulled out roots, they ran the compactor, the threw dirt, etc.

Laying a Strong Foundation

2011-04-07T16:19:00.001-07:00

Building a strong foundation in Florida is quite different than what I was used to living up north in Wisconsin. As you can see our soil is sand. And our water table does not allow for basements. Therefore the first thing you build for the foundation are the footers. Since our soil is pure sand we had to use the wood to keep the sides that were dug from caving in and then you set up the rebar in the footer cells. We thankfully did not do all this work ourselves.

New House

2011-04-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

We have been busy building our new house. We started in September 2010. We have had our entire family and extended family, sub contractors and friends help in the process. I don't have time to write down more details so instead I will spend the time I do have uploading photos for viewing. Thank you to Sandy for taking documenting the building process in photos.

Kyle and I both love Bungalow homes so this home has been an attempt at a comtemporary Bungalow.

The west side view--shows the beginning of the back porch

front view

Parental Rights

2011-03-07T19:21:00.001-08:00

EVERY American should educate themselves on the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child and its impact on the Parental Rights of Americans.

Parentalrights.org

The treaty can affect our right as American parents to decide our child(rens) education, religion, discipline, health care, etc. Instead that right is given to the government and the children themselves, but ultimately the government.

Little House on the Prairie

2011-02-09T16:35:00.000-08:00

As I type our family is sitting down for our weekly (sometimes bi-weekly depending on the weather and the adults exhaustion level) Little House on the Prairie family viewing. Pa looks handsome as ever. Ma is graceful and beautiful. Mary is the typical first born aiming to please and excelling in everything. Laura learns life the hard way and in her own way. Carrie is sweet and cute. Nellie Olseon is mean and bratty as ever causing you to wonder however did her father manage living with her. Mr. Edwards always brings a laugh.

For my birthday in October I received the entire 9 seasons of Little House on the Prairie DVD set. I was a big fan when I was little and became a bigger fan when I began reading the book series to the boys. I am close to a fanatic now talking about LIttle House episodes with my mom friends and eagerly anticipating the next time I can sit down and watch an episode. Kyle and I spend several nights a week watching the episodes together before bed so that we can decide which episodes we will allow the children to watch.

Our family loves watching Little House on the Prairie for many reasons.
good morals and character displayed
The whole family (including Prema who can't hear and can't read the subtitles) can enjoy and understand what is happening in the show.
as we dream about slowly growing our own homestead, our kids see first hand hard work done in chores
the kids get to see the "old ways" of doing things
every episode is so relaxing to watch
real life situations are played out for our kids to see and we can discuss
one room school house with classical teaching which is how we homeschool

Half Finish.. Can You Find Us?

2011-01-12T17:51:00.000-08:00

Click on the link to see video and photos from the race. I believe they must have taken pictures when we crossed a time mat and then they send photos that were taken at the time you crossed those areas hoping have caught you on film.

Action Sports International

We Made it- 13.1!

2011-01-08T14:22:00.000-08:00

I completed the Disney World 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles) today with my sister-in-law Amber Cullum. We finished in 2 hours 31 minutes.

We drove to Orlando on Friday afternoon and got our race numbers and t-shirt and timing chip at ESPN Wide World of Sports. Kyle's parents, Sam and Amber with their 9 month old son Bennett, and Kyle, I and the kids stayed at a hotel in Orlando for the night.

Sam, Amber and I woke up at 3:45 a.m. to get ready. Sam was our chauffeur driving us to the race with the intention of going back to the hotel and coming to spectate with the rest of the family. Traffic was so backed up trying to enter the park that Amber and I got out of the car earlier than we had planned. We ended up crossing a wet drainage ditch and getting our shoes and socks wet, but we were able to use the bathroom a few times before we arrived at our starting corral just as they were singing "The Star Spangled Banner".

The official start of the race was 5:35 a.m. We were in the 5th starting wave so we started about 6:00 a.m. With each start Disney put off a fireworks and Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy cheered the runners on in their own running suits. 27,000 plus people were in the race. The entire race was a "sea" of people.

Some highlights of the race were:

- We saw Sam at the 1.5 mile. He has gotten stuck in traffic and wasn't able to leave the park.
- High School bands played in the start and finish where it was only woods and road.
- Running through through Magic Kingdom on Main Street and through the Castle.
- seeing all the Disney characters throughout the race (runners would stop and stand in lined to get their picture taken- we didn't)
- passing Al Roker from the Today Show. He and Meredith Vieira were running the race. We passed Al about mile 7 I think.
- walking times...we ran 10 minutes and walked 1 minute throughout the race. I needed the walking portions especially at the end.
-doing the race with Amber. I am happy she invited me to come. I never had run more than 3 miles that I can remember before the training. It is something I couldn't have done alone. It really helps to run with another person.
- seeing so many people running. Disney's Marathon was not cheap, but it is nice to see that it does motivate so many people to be healthy.
- FINISHING...I become overwhelmed with emotion and started to cry a bit. I couldn't believe I had finished. My legs were aching since about mile 8, so those last 5 miles were really hard.

The rest of the family never got to join us. Too many roads were closed and there were not that many places where family and friends could view the runners. Instead they stayed behind at the hotel and explored the area there. Sam was able to see us again at the 12 mile and finish.

Unless you are a HUGE Disney fan, which I am not, I wouldn't suggest ever doing the Disney Marathon mostly due to the cost and the really early start. However, I would suggest trying to do a 1/2 marathon especially with a friend or relative. It feels good to accomplish something you never thought you could do.

Sam has a few pictures I will post when I get them.

Exciting Cleaning Discoveries

2010-12-29T13:37:00.001-08:00

I recently discovered how to clean a moldy water bottle that is tall and has a smaller opening, thus making it difficult to clean and a dishwasher that has hard water build-up.

Moldy Bottle Solution: go to http://www.ehow.com/how_4763280_clean-moldy-water-bottle.html
and

check out this site for all the ways you can use vinegar including the hard water stains in your dishwasher. http://www.vinegartips.com/Scripts

I am excited to learn new ways to clean and fix things so that I don't have to go and buy new. If I get the point of thinking about throwing things away to replace with something new I ponder my carbon footprint hoping for a good future for my children.

Their world and Ours

2010-12-19T15:13:00.000-08:00

Isaac: "Mom can you call Grandma and Grandpa and Dad RIGHT NOW so that they can come see the horses before they have surgery?"

Me: "Do you really think I should call Grandma, Grandpa, and Dad so that they can stop everything RIGHT NOW to come and participate in your pretend world?"

Isaac: "Yeah!" (big smile)

Me: "No not gonna happen."

I've been somewhat irritated lately how the pretend world exists on the same level as real life and how the pretend world creates so much bickering between the boys when one of their worlds doesn't mesh with the others. For example, when they are arguing over whether or not you can feed a horse a peppermint or if one wins a pretend world race and the other loses.

My latest statement: "If you pretend world doesn't bring joy, than that pretend world cannot exist." Not sure if that is a good statement to make yet because I am still sorting it all out in my head since I do love their creativity and want to celebrate it.

Isaac's First Hospital Visit

2010-12-14T15:41:00.000-08:00

Isaac had a loss of appetite on Friday night. Then on Saturday he began having intermittent severe abdominal pain. He had similar pain a few months back with a case of the flu so we thought we just needed to wait for the diarrhea to begin. Sunday the pain become worse throughout the day but still off and on and still no other flu symptoms. He was more tired than normal and sleeping more. The pain wasn't keeping him from sleeping. On Monday we took him to the doctor and she recommended an ultrasound at All Children's Hospital. The ultrasound confirmed that Isaac had intussusception in the small bowel. Basically his small bowel had telescoped into itself. The likely cause is a virus with enlarged stomach lymph nodes that pushed the small intestine inward just enough for it to collapse within itself.

The two possible procedures to correct the problem is an air enema or surgery. The surgeons decided to have the radiologist try the air enema first. They pass a tube up the rectum and blow air in the intestines. They gave only a 20% chance of it working given Isaac's age (usually intussusception happens in children younger than 2 years), the location of the blockage, and the duration of time it had been blocked (2 days). Within 5 minutes the air enema worked!!! The radiologists were shocked. Isaac was completely pain free and just a little tired from the days of pain before and procedure.

After the procedure Isaac and I stayed at the hospital for about 24 hours so that they could observe any changes that may occur when he ate. Next week Isaac will have another ultrasound to help determine if it was only a lymph node/ virus that caused the blockage or if there is something else that caused the problem.

Isaac and I are both happy to be home. We are grateful for the good hospital experience: a brand new hospital, nice nurses and doctors, and TV viewing.

Cullums Under Construction

2010-11-30T11:13:00.000-08:00

Happy Advent, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

The year 2010 has brough the Cullums "Under Construction".

September we began building our new house. The house is located on 102nd Ave in Seminole Florida about 5 minutes from our current house and 1 minute from Kyle's parents. It is the same land where Kyle lived with his parents from elementary school through high school. We are trying to do a lot of the work ourselves so we anticipate completion to be around Thanksgiving 2011. It has been an entire family project with Kyle, myself, all 3 of our children, Kyle's parents and Kyle's brother and cousin helping out. Isaac and Eli have loved playing in the dirt and riding on the backhoe with Grandpa Cullum. We are extremely grateful to have this opportunity to build a home that meets our needs and helps us continue with our goals for our family.

Kyle rode a 100 mile bike ride with his brother Sam in October and I am in the process of training for a half marathon on January 8th with my sister in law Amber Cullum. Both the rides and runs have pushed us past our limits but its always good to complete something you never thought you could.

We are so grateful that Florida Electrical Service continues to find work this year. We continue to hear of more and more construction based companies down sizing and closing in PInellas County. Kyle, David and Steve have worked long hours this year in hopes of continuing to find work for the company.

In May I was approached to direct our homeschool community Classical Conversations Largo. I took on the job and have been busy throughout the year making sure our school days run well and the community is healthy. It has been a lot of work and forced me to continue to strengthen my weak areas of leadership. We continue to be so thankful for the Classical Conversations community and how it holds us accountable to academic excellence and has brought great people into our lives.

Prema at 11 years old started middle school in the fall. She is in a self contained special education classroom for students with multiple disabilities. She remains in 2 joining classrooms most of the day and is fully supervised whenever she is mainstreamed with other students. In the mornings her curriculum focuses on academics and in the afternoons she is learning life skills. Prema is loving school this year. The new environment brings some challenges as she is the only deaf student and therefore a full time interpreter is required. On the positive side she is functioning at the same level as her peers so she is able to be instructed in small groups providing her the socialization she craves. Prema started her 2 year braces treatment in January 2010 and got her first set of glasses in September 2010. She is looking very mature.

The boys have kept us very very busy this year with their endless creativity and energy. Isaac at 5 years old continues to do well in his school work. He is really enjoying math this year. He is always leading Eli and other children in complex imaginary play usually pertaining to be Kings and Knights, farming, playing a Rocker baseball game, living in the land of Narnia, etc. Eli at 3 years old loves to join in Isaac's imaginary worlds as the comic relief such as the mascot at baseball games or the wild horse. Eli is still fascinated with living creatures such as bugs, insects, and other animals. He often tells us he wants a pet. He is a very deep thinker and asks us all the hard questions about faith and death.

Even though the letter seems to paint a really "beautiful" picture of our family, our character is constantly "under construction." We have 5 VERY strong willed people living together. We have been tested in our obedience, patience, acceptance, perseverance, compassion, forgiveness, kindness, orderliness, joyfulness, and faith. We pray that through the process we really are becoming beautiful for each other.

We look forward to what 2011 brings.

Blessings,
Michelle for Kyle, Prema, Isaac and Eli

Eli had been helping Kyle fill in the sides of the footer

Sam and Kyle working with the cement pump man and Chuck

Isaac proud he helped pile the wood

Prema pulling cut tree roots from the foundation sand

Eli riding with Grandpa Cullum in the Backhoe

Isaac and Prema riding on the swing in the backyard tree (interesting story we wanted to remove the tree but the city said we'd have to pay them $10,000 to remove the tree. So instead we changed up the house plans and are happier with the tree and house designs now.)

Frog Prema caught. She loves to spend time catching frogs and lizards and tame them to sit on her shoulder or arm.

Dirty faces we see often these days!

Another Embarrassing Eli Moment

2010-11-29T09:46:00.000-08:00

Eli was at the top of the play structure on a fairly busy Sunday at the park. He decides to pull down the front of his pants and pee right through the climbing wall landing. We saw it coming. We shouted "Eli don't..." and the stream arched its way down to the ground. Thankfully no one was directly under him so everyone seemed to be dry.

Cranky Kids and Their Imaginations

2010-11-12T08:54:00.000-08:00

Isaac and Eli have been cranky the past few days. Prema's brain just doesn't seem to be functioning very well. A lot of it probably has to do with the time change and waking up earlier since it is brighter in the morning.

Our sons have wonderful imaginations. Here is a sample in regards to why Isaac has been cranky the last few days.

A few days ago in the morning I asked Isaac "Why is it that you are so cranky today?"

Isaac: "Well I am just so tired."

Me: "if you are so tired why don't you just sleep in a bit longer."

Isaac: "I have had to wake up for winter training the past few days."

Me: "Winter training? Last night you were talking about waking up early to sheer the sheep." (Isaac and Eli have a "farm" with lots of animals that they tend to throughout the day. We are reading Farmer Boy by L.I. Wilder so they are acting out all the things they here Almanzo doing in the book.)

Isaac: "Nope it is winter training time but tomorrow morning I have a break so I can sleep in a bit longer and not be so cranky."

then last night Isaac was tell Grandpa Cullum that he has winter training right now. Grandpa Cullum thought it was training season for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning, as did I. Last night Isaac informed us that the winter training is for his Rockers Baseball team which practices in the winter and not in the spring. Isaac has a pretend Rockers teach, which rarely loses and made it to the World Series. They play games just about every day. Eli is their mascot. The colors are blue, gold, yellow and red. For each adults birthday recently Isaac has made each person tickets to the Rockers home opener on April 1 2011 vs the Devils. The game happens to be on his own birthday.

We love their imaginations. There is something new everyday that we chuckle at listening to them at play. The only bad part is that sometimes their imagination can lead to more work for us as we discover that "plowing the field" means ripping out all the grass in an area of our lawn or "ice skating" means throwing dirt all over something so they can slide with their feet. I just take deep breaths and remind myself to cherish the memories and am thankful their brains are working instead of sitting idle in front of the TV.

Things We've Been Thinking About

2010-08-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

We are so busy that I haven't had time to post much the past year. I thought I would post just a few of the things we've been thinking/ discussing/ reading about individually and as a family.

Hot Dogs

Eli loves to make people laugh. One of his most common jokes is "HOT DOG". He uses it as a silly name, punch line, you name it. He doesn't enjoy eating hot dogs so I think he must either like the sound of the words or it reminds him of his other favorite thing, his penis.

Aslan to our Hurray!!

Isaac LOVES the Chronicles of Narnia. We have the best audio CDs of all the books performed in Radio Theater by Focus on the Family. Isaac has been listening to these CDs for about a year every night before bed and during rest time. He knows them so well that he often speaks in Narnia lingo during regular conversation.

Parenting/ Behavior Management

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Love and Logic
Shepherding a Child's Heart
The Learning Parent (Character Training)

Our children keep us on our toes. We learn more about ourselves and are challenged to train/ mold our children into the best that they can be. We pick what works best for our family given Kyle and my personality and the personality and needs of our children from all the resources we come across (books and people).

Education

We are homeschooling Isaac for the second year using the Classical model. We are so grateful to have found Classical Conversations Christian Community. Through CC we have learned so much about how to truly educate the classical way and have support and weekly connection with other families who are also classically educating their children. This is a nation wide organization, check it out in your area!

We also just finished reading The Core by Leigh Bortins the founder of Classical Conversations. It is a wonderful resource for educating classically and also spurs great conversations about American Education.

Largo Middle School
Prema started middle school yesterday. She is in a self contained special education classroom that does academics in the morning and life skills in the afternoon. Prema has known that she is going to a new school for a few months. The anxiety and excitement has resulted in her constantly saying "Largo middle school 6th grade fall me" aka I am going to Largo Middle School in the fall. I will be in 6th grade.

Bungalow Homes

Spoken LIke a True Cullum Boy/ Man

2010-07-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

We have potty trained our boys the easiest way for us. In the winter/ spring when the weather is perfect for being outside a lot we allowed them to run around naked. The pros to this method have been less expense on diapers, less wet/ soiled clothes, only a few floor clean ups, and not always needing to ask "do you need to use the bathroom". The cons could possibly be that my boys seem to have an infatuation with their private friend more that most and they have no problem, even when older, pulling their pants down anywhere and relieving themselves in public. Eli took longer to potty train and so he spent a longer time being naked. Possibly as a result he is often asking to remove a piece of clothing, talks about and plays with his private friend more often than Isaac, etc.

Our potty training technique may have had something to do with our boys often shedding their clothes, but it is also a Cullum trait (at least for the Cullum generation before (a.k.a Kyle and Sam). see Amber's Articles for evidence. Kyle is the same.

On July 10th we celebrated with Kyle's cousin Matthew Cullum and the now Jackie Cullum at their wedding. Just after Jackie walked down the aisle, even before the vows,Eli our nudist asked rather loudly "When is she (Jackie) going to take her dress off?" Spoken like a True Cullum Boy/Son!!!!

Prophecy in a Name

2010-07-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

I have been working on character training with the kids. A friend introduced me to the resources of Rich and Marilyn Boyer. They have a book Parenting from the Heart and Hands On Character Building . They also have other resources available on their website The Learning Parent

One thing the Boyers talk about in their book is continuing to talk with your children about their special purpose. One way to do this is by teaching your children the meaning of their name. A name can hold a positive prophecy for the future. We were very deliberate in naming our children based on the meaning of their name. Both boys were born during times of deep struggle, so we purposefully chose their names based on our desire to laugh again and be uplifted. We wanted Prema to have an Indian name and liked how it's meaning corresponded to our biggest reason for adopting her; she deserved a family to love her.

Even though we have known the meaning on our children's names, we haven't spent much time teaching them about the meaning of their names. The Boyers encourage you to not only teach your children the meaning of their name, but also a scripture verse that goes along with the name meaning. I found a name meaning Christian company Cross Timber's that does research on your name, finding the positive prophecy and the scripture verse. Here is what they found for our name, which we had put on bookmarks to post on our bedroom doors.

Prema:
From: Sanskrit

Love, Affection: Reflection of God’s Love

Love is patient, and is kind; envieth not; is not puffed up, rejoiceth not in evil, but in the truth; Love bears all things, endures all things, always protects, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Cor 13

Isaac:
From: Hebrew

Laughter, Child of Promise: Surrendered to God

And God said, Sarah they wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt cal his name Isaac; and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him. Genesis 22

Eli
From: Hebrew

Uplifted: Delivered

And they shall be mine, saith the LORD of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels, and I will spare them as a man spareth his own son that serveth him. Malachi 3:17

Kyle
From: Gaelic

From the strait: One with Perspective Insight

The way of the wicked is as darkness, but the path of the just is as the shining light; that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. Proverbs 4:19

Michelle
From: Hebrew

Who is like God? One of Exaltation and Praise

Who among the sons of the might cam be likened unto the LORD?...O LORD God of hosts, who is strong LORD like unto thee? Or to thy faithfulness round about thee? Psalm 89:6,8

Eli keeps us laughing

2010-06-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

...and wondering what to do. Yesterday we were at Chic-fil-A eating lunch. Eli and Isaac were in the indoor playground playing. Kyle and I were chatting with Kyle's parents at a table in the restaurant area with a good view of the play area. I looked up and saw Eli standing in front of the large window with his pants down, bouncing his right foot on the ground as if to keep a good beat and pretending to strum his guitar which was his penis. AHHHHHH! I quickly got up from my chair (which fell down with a big crash) and ran to pull Eli's pants up. I took him to the bathroom and couldn't stop laughing as I was trying to discuss the importance of keeping our pants up in public areas.

Make Over

2010-06-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

My friend Amy wrote an essay about me and submitted it to a local salon for a Mother's Day Makeover. I WON! So today I was able to spend 4 hours at the salon getting my hair cut, shined with a clear coat, a pedicure and manicure, and make up application. It was a real treat. Thank you Amy and thank you Kyle for watching the kids! Now off to a date with Kyle.

Signing Time- Animals

2010-04-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

Hi, This is Kyle, posting videos for Michelle while she is off galavanting around helping the adoptive parents of the world. If there are any errors in here, I take no responsibility and Michelle should be consulted directly regarding fixing said errors. Happy signing.

intro, horse, rabbit

fish, whale, dolphin, octopus, jellyfish, stingray

cow, pig

kangaroo, sheep

deer, moose, goat

wolf, fox

mouse, rat

hippo, rhino

zebra, elephant

lion, girraffe

bear, tiger

bird, duck

lizard, frog

dog,cat

Signing Time- Verbs

2010-04-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

go, sit, walk

eat, play, run, jump

talk, lay, stand

stand up, sit up, look, wait

leave, get, stay, catch

swim, drive, climb

review 1

review 2

ASL Time- Pronouns

2010-04-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

me, you, he, she, it

we, them, these, those, these

my, your, his, her, our, their

setting up people in space

setting up things in space

myself, yourself, ourselves

review pronouns

review pronouns with family words

**You can continue review using pronouns with family members on your own. You could create family word flash cards word on each card and another set of pronoun flashcards Then pick one card from each pile and sign them together. i.e. my sister

Pronouns can become very confusing for people since it requires placing people in space who are not present. This is one of the things about ASL you will begin to love as you learn the art of story telling. It is hard and at times confusing, but very neat simultaneously. If you have additional questions please post them in the comments and I reply for all to see.

abc's

2010-04-10T14:18:00.000-07:00

the ABC's...each letter has its own sign. You do not specify capital or lowercase letters when spelling in ASL.

after you learn the letters you could...
1. practice spelling your name and the names of family members
2. practice spelling any words you see while driving or riding in a car

A-L

M-Z

Review ABC's

Signing Time- Family Words Review

2010-04-05T16:57:00.000-07:00

here is a video to help you review your family words quickly. On the right hand side of this blog you will see a listing of my ASL lessons. I am tagging each lesson so that you can see the key words and find old lessons quickly when you need them.

Signing Time-Family Words Part 2

2010-04-04T14:45:00.000-07:00

This is part 2 of " Family Words". You should see part 1 before part 2.

sister, brother

cousin, niece/ nephew

husband, wife, aunt, uncle, family

Signing Time- Family Words Part 1

2010-04-03T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone

I have decided to try and video a new signing time each week. Hopefully family members, friends and kids will be able to enjoy learning American Sign Language. It is a somewhat selfish adventure as I end up interpreting for every interaction Prema has and therefore miss out on adult conversations.

This is not a professional video at all. I just pressed record on my computer and what you see is what happened in one recording, no rehearsing or planned dialogue. If I waited for a perfect time, place, and situation it would never get done.

A note of warning: If you are living in a state other than Florida and you try and talk to a Deaf person in your state, there may be some differences in the their signing compared to what I am teaching in these videos. Just as each state as spoken accents, there are also ASL "accents" with states having differences in the way they sign things. For example I think there are at least 25 different ways to sign "birthday" in America. Also Sign Language is not a universal language, hence why this is call AMERICAN sign language. You cannot go to another country and expect to be able to communicate with Deaf people. You may find some similarities, but the languages are different.

Post a comment and let me know what you think about this new project of mine :) I hope to upload more signs this week :)

INTRODUCTION

mom/ mother, dad/father, parents

grandma, grandpa, great grandma, great grandpa

baby, son, daughter

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-20T12:25:00.000-08:00

Hello to all,

Another busy year has passed for us all. I thought I would take a moment to overview the year.

Kyle and I definitely feel another year older. We're starting to notice the lines on our faces and dark circles under our eyes that never go away. Kyle's head hair keeps transplanting itself on his chest and back. We struggle to hold our fingers straight, I even notice them become more and more stiff making it even more difficult to become speedy and accurate at fingerspelling. But all that aside, we still continue to try and try to change the rest of ourselves a new.

Kyle competed in his first triathlon in July. He started after me and passed me on the last leg about 1 mile into the run. He loved the experience. Regardless of how tired he is, he is very good a consistently running about 3 miles 4 to 5 times a week. He continues to amaze us all with all the new construction skills he acquires. In January he tackled our bathroom renovation which included swapping locations for our AC handler and the toilet. Kyle did an awesome job.

I have learned a ton again this year about parenting and teaching. We began homeschooling Isaac this year. I have learned more than I ever imagined about World History through teaching a 4 year old. I have also learned a lot more about the Bible and training kids to live Godly lives. In July I competed in my second triathlon. It was a struggle for me, as I felt very exhausted but still very enjoyable.

Prema has had quite a few new things this year. She began the fall with 2 new teachers after 2 years with the same teacher. She became a permanent rider in Horses For the Handicap. She rides horses every Saturday for 45 minutes. The horse she rides, Dominic, is the largest horse on the grounds and beautiful. Prema is slowly learning to lead the horse herself through an obstacle course and trotting. She loves it. She also is starting to learn to clean the horse stalls and groom the horses. If you haven't seen Prema;s performance yet at her Holiday Deaf Extravaganza, you'll want to check out her performance. We had lots of laughs.

Isaac started pre-school at home this year. We are a part of local Classical Conversationscommunity. Every Wednesday we meet at a church with the rest of the CC community. During that time Isaac and I are in a classroom with 7 other students and their parents learning the new material for the week. The rest of the week we review all of the material at home. He is studying World History, Latin, English Grammar, Math, Science, music, and art. Each family is responsible for teaching their own child how to read and write and daily math with their own curriculum. Isaac has amazed us with his ability to memorize. Isaac and I both love our CC community and all that we are learning. Isaac has shown us this year his love for teaching and organizing people. He has also become very good a ASL which is a huge help to me when the kids play together. I no longer need to be the interpreter, just the referee.

Eli's character has shown itself a lot more this year. At first you would think Eli is a very shy child, but that is only in new situations and upon meeting new people. After Eli is feeling comfortable any place becomes his stage. He is a performer. He loves music and dancing. He has the moves and the tunes. He is even a performer whenever he is hurt, needs something, doesn't get what he wants or is corrected. Eli still loves to talk in a low rough growl most of the time. His will is almost as strong as Kyle's and mine. However, he still loves to snuggle close and cuddle.

Merry Christmas to you all,
love Kyle, Michelle, Prema, Isaac and Eli

Family Pics at Boca Ciega Park Tower

2009-12-10T07:07:00.000-08:00

She is Serious

2009-12-04T10:24:00.000-08:00

WATCH THESE VIDEOS

Prema is performing her 2 holiday songs with other kids from her school. This is not a joke...she is so serious when she is performing. She LOVES to perform. She knew where we were sitting so during the performance she stops at times to say "My mom", waves to us, and signs "Hi Isaac" Prema can't hear the music. Her teacher is in the front row showing her what to sign for the songs.

I had just had a night of prayer last night with other mothers and we specifically prayed for Prema in knowing her limitations that we could love her, accept all of her, and know her purpose. At the start of watching her I cried in thanksgiving for the joy this one moment was giving her, myself and so many other people in the audience. Then those tears of joy and humility turned to tears of laughter as we watched her funny "Prema-isms" take center stage. What a wonderful gift this day was to all of us. Enjoy!

y

All Saint's Day

2009-11-03T16:19:00.001-08:00

Sr Alphonsa

Eli the High Priest

Fr. Isaac Jogues

The Start of Something New

2009-11-03T16:05:00.000-08:00

Our Chocolate Factory

2009-11-03T11:59:00.000-08:00

Isaac and Eli love listening to books on tape. They listened to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at least 15 times. Last week they decided to pretend they had their own chocolate factory. They dug up some dirt and added some water to make the chocolate river. At first there was a stick that was Augustus Gloop stuck in the pipe, Isaac was Willy Wonka and Eli was an oompa-loompa. Then it became more fun to have Eli be Augustus. Watch the video of all the fun the ensued.

Please don't mind the nudity. Eli is potty training. My camera work is bad too, trying to follow the running boys.

Lizards

2009-10-28T17:59:00.001-07:00

Long time again since my last post. LIfe is busy and doesn't seem thrilling enough to post about.

One thing that has been happening at our house a lot recently is lizard catching. If you have never visited Florida, then you might not know that lizards are everywhere. Small ones that fit in your palm. Sometimes they get in your house if you leave the door open too long and your choice is to let them die or catch them and free them the outside world again. You could pretty much coin the phrase "you're a true Floridian child if you catch lizards as a pas time."

Prema has discovered the thrill of catching lizards. This month she finally caught her first lizard unassisted. A neighbor boy came and caught 10 + lizards one day for her and Isaac. Since that day Prema spends at least an hour our more a day trying to catch lizards herself. The trouble is that Prema's coordination is not nearly as refined as the other boy and thus many lizards have either lost their tails or died due to traumatic amputation of a limb. The good thing is that lizards' tails grow back, so we don't worry about that. The death of the amputated lizards causes problems because Eli is determined to sit vigil with each one watching it take each last breath until it's death. He will say, "Mom it's still breafing. He not dead yet."

Isaac is also enjoying the challenge and excitement of catching lizards but he can only catch the ones who are in shock after Eli has let them loose. Prema and Isaac will want to keep them in their jar for a few more minutes and so Isaac will then be able to gather them all again back into the jar since they don't move as fast.

Eli likes to take the lizards for rides in his dump trucks.

New Beginnings

2009-08-29T08:38:00.001-07:00

Last week marked new beginnings for our family.

Kyle competed in his first triathlon on Saturday morning. I also did the triathlon, which was my second. Kyle did a great job! He worked really hard for 2 months training. i started about 9 min ahead of him in a different wave. He passed me about 1.5 miles into the run (last leg of race). My biggest goal was to not walk during the run and I was able to accomplish that. We're hoping to both do another one before the end of the season in early October.

Prema started school again on Tuesday. She is now in 3rd grade and thus has new teachers and classmates. She spends the morning with her Language Arts teacher and the afternoon with her math, science and social studies teacher. Her first week with the change she did very well. Both teachers have been extremely accommodating and are really trying hard to keep her time structured and consistent with home so that she feels safe. Hopefully the trend continues. We were very worried she would spiral down hill with all the changes.

Isaac started school this week as well. We are doing a homeschool curriculum this year. We meet once a week with other Classical Conversation families at a church about 5 minutes from our house for 3 hours. During that time a tutor goes over each week's new material for both students and moms, so I stay in the room with Isaac learning myself. Classical education believes in training your brain to memorize during the early years of schooling so Isaac is working on memorizing History (from creation to present), Latin, scripture verses, English grammar, science vocabulary, geography, and math facts. I am responsible for teaching him reading, writing and math on my own time.

Eli has started going to kid's church during mass and went to Tot's class during Isaac's first school day. Eli doesn't jump into new things too quickly. He tends to sit back and observe before he exposes his animated and rough personality. He definitely prefers being home so most of the time he will probably be with Grandma Cullum when Isaac is in school instead of being at the Tot's class. At home Eli is potty training which means most of the time he is naked. He has also started to love playing the ukulele and compose new songs singing about his life and life around him. The naked ukulele player/singer is often performing for the family.

here are some random photos of the family. I'm not up to date yet on uploading so these are a little old.

Triathlon for Kate Clark

2009-08-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

August 2, 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

On May 29th 2009 I received some sad news from my family. My cousin Kate had been involved in a freak accident resulting in a severe spinal cord injury. That Friday Kate was volunteering at her son’s school supervising kids during recess. As she passed under the slide a boy jumped off the slide and landed on Kate’s head. After arriving at the hospital the doctors diagnosed a severe spinal cord injury at C4, the very same injury of Christopher Reeves. Kate was paralyzed. That same night Kate endured 5 hours of surgery. Immediately following her surgery doctors could not fully determine Kate’s prognosis. Only time would tell how much mobility and function Kate would regain.

Kate’s story is unfolding as a miracle. I myself am in awe of God’s faithfulness in this situation. The very next day after surgery Kate experienced a “heavy sensation” in all four of her limbs. She was also able to sit and stand twice with assistance from her physical therapists. Kate was progressing so well that she was moved to a rehab hospital one week after the accident (a week sooner than expected). Through the power of prayer, determination on Kate’s part and wonderful therapy, Kate is now able to walk unassisted after only 1 month! Kate still has many small and gross motor skills she is working diligently to regain. Her spirit and faith is strong.

I write asking for you to become a part of Kate’s story. Kate is married with 2 young children. Due to Kate’s injury her family does not have her income to help with family expenses. On July 14th Kate was discharged from the rehab hospital because insurance would no longer cover her stay. Kate’s doctors and therapist have said she will require about one more year of outpatient therapy. Her insurance does not cover outpatient therapy or the medicine she needs to keep the nerve pain under control.

Since Kate’s accident I have offered each time I run, bike and swim as an intercessory for Kate; praying that she too will one day again enjoy those same activities with her family. Now I would like to take one more step in helping Kate. I will be competing in my second triathlon on August 22nd to raise money on Kate’s behalf . I hope that you will be a part of Kate’s journey toward healing by sponsoring me. If you would like to sponsor me please send checks to Kate’s church. Her church has set up a foundation for Kate to receive tax-deductible donations to help cover her medical costs.

Please send checks with “Triathlon for Kate Clark” in the memo portion to:

Church of the Servant 
3835 Burton SE Grand Rapids, MI 49546
616-956-7611

In Thanksgiving for God’s Goodness,
Michelle Cullum

Waiting for Kyle

2009-07-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

It is 5:35 p.m. and it is that time of day where sometimes each minute passes so slowly. I feel like I can't make it too many more minutes with the kids. So as each minute slowly ticks we are blaring some music. Isaac is wearing a Bob the Builder hat and Bob the Builder apron dancing on one side of me. Eli is naked and wearing a green safari hat dancing on the other side of me. Prema is waiting for me to check how well she scrubbed the kitchen floor.

TOO TOO BUSY

2009-06-28T18:43:00.001-07:00

And yet again a lot of time has passed since I have update this blog. I will try and post a quick update here in hopes to spur some more writing in the NEAR future.

let's see...

Isaac is now 4 years old. He is blowing us away with his interest in so many many things, an outstanding memory, his ability to hold in depth conversations, and his AMAZING insights into life. It is so much fun to listen to him explain how he "sees" life.
Some examples are: He thinks all adopted kids are Deaf because he knows Prema and another girl Tiana are both Deaf and adopted. Last night in a conversation about the use of the word "pastor" he thinks that Fr. Mike will soon not be the pastor at our church because his hair is turning grey. He once listed all of his favorite baseball teams which coincidentally were the names of every team he could remember at the time.

Every morning Isaac asks if the Rays baseball team won. He has to be first and always win or he will will have a meltdown. Everything is a competition. He LOVED his first experience of VBS. He didn't enjoy his first trip to Disney World because he got scared at just about everything since he hates all of the evil/ scary characters and events.

Eli is now 2 years old. The poor dude has been sick A LOT so most of the time his moodiness has been worse. He loves to sing and dance and whenever he is in a good mood you will find him performing for anyone who will watch. You will often hear him using either a grumbly/ deep/ rough voice with facial expressions to match or a very sweet soft spoken voice as he cuddles up to someone. He still loves to copy just about anything Isaac is doing. It has also been fun to watch him attempt to sign with Prema. He will move his lips and wave his hands in the air whenever he is trying to "hold a conversation" with her.

Prema is doing pretty well. She is now in summer school 4 days a week and on the Fridays she is attending a Deaf summer camp. She absolutely LOVED her first trip to Disney World. We have been excited to see her Jump rope for the first time. She has now acquired all the large motor skills she needs to function in school so she will no longer be receiving PT.

Isaac Loves Spirit FM

2009-04-18T17:45:00.000-07:00

Isaac loves our local Catholic Christian radio station . Every morning we listen to the "Big Big House Morning Show" with Carlos and Abby, especially to hear the Veggie Tale song of the day. We also listen every Saturday Morning to "Kid's Kingdom" to listen to all the kids Christian songs including many Veggie Tale songs. The week of Isaac's birthday we went to the radio station twice. Once to meet Carlos and Abby and the other time to have Isaac talk to Fr. Mike on Kid's Kingdom on the air. Fr. Mike calls into the station live every Saturday morning for a few minutes to discuss the weekend Bible readings and encourage vocations to the priesthood and religious life. Fr. Mike arranged for Isaac to be in the studio when he called in so he could talk with Isaac on air. Both trips to the studio were great experiences. You can listen on-line to Spirit FM so my family also got to hear Isaac when he was on the radio. The video clip is from his time with Ms. Elle and her daughter that do Kid's Kingdom every Saturday. They announce kids' birthdays on the air so during this visit they announced Isaac's, Eli's and Prema's birthday.

Prema Spraying/ Humming Out Her Candles

2009-04-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

Prema's 10th Birthday

2009-04-18T09:24:00.001-07:00

On March 21 Prema turned 10 (legally). This year was an exciting milestone for her birthday party. She now has 2 friends that she plays with somewhat regularly. So this year she had a kid only birthday party. Her two friends (both deaf) came over to celebrate for a few hours. They painted, had a scavenger hunt, played dress up, and ate. Prema loved the party. The next day Kyle and I took Prema out to dinner alone to an Indian restaurant. It was her first trip to an Indian restaurant since she came home 2.5 years ago. She loved it!!! She got to have chai (tea), eat fish curry with her hands and watch Indian movies. Any time she puts on the new shirt she wore that night she wants to go back there and eat again. For dessert that same evening we brought the rest of the cake from her party to Grandma and Grandpa Cullum's house where we all sang "Happy Birthday" and she opened some more presents.

"Why?"

2009-04-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

Eli just began speaking a ton within the last 2 months. He is now speaking in 2-3 word sentences most of the time and is willing to try just about any word he hears immediately. One habit he has picked up quickly is asking "Why?" when I tell him to do something he doesn't want to do. Just now he knocked down all the blocks I just picked up for him in exchange for him picking up the kitchen toys. Immediately after I was done he went and knocked the blocks all over again. So yes he will be picking them up himself this time. But instead of yelling I just said "Eli go to your room". His response, "Why?".

Happy 4th Birthday Isaac

2009-04-01T05:22:00.000-07:00

Today April 1st Isaac turns 4 years old. His birthdays are both a celebration and time of sorrow for me. I am excited to celebrate his birth, for he has brought us an immense amount of joy. I get sad thinking of our little boy growing up and feeling like time is moving too fast and I've missed or have forgotten little things along the way.

This year Isaac has planned his birthday party again. We are basically celebrating all week long. He is an avid fan of Spirit FM the local Catholic/ Christian radio station. On Monday we went to the radio station and met the morning show team Carlos and Abby. Today he is eating breakfast at Bob Evans with Grandpa Cullum and Dad (Kyle). Later we will go to Heritage Village (historical place) and attend the preschooler class. Then tonight we will go to the library for a play "ABC Adventures". Saturday evening we are having the party at our house. Fr. Mike is trying to work it out so Isaac can go to the radio station again on Saturday morning and talk on the "Kids Kingdom" show when Fr. MIke calls into talk at 10:00.
you can listen on line

Happy Birthday Isaac! We love being your mom and dad. Thank you for all the laughter and joy you bring to us.

I'll post pictures later.

Where Have I Been?

2009-03-22T05:03:00.000-07:00

I've been a blogging slacker. To be honest I haven't gotten too much done besides watching and playing with my kids and trying to keep the house somewhat organized.

random updates:

Kyle started remodeling the kids' bathroom 2 weeks ago. He has been working every weekend and just about every night on the project. Our roof was leaking where the AC duct came in from the outside so the project included switching the placement of the AC handler with the toilet. Thus he had to cut into the floor and change the piping. His dad and brother Sam have been a huge help! We are very grateful. I tried to help one night climbing into the space between the roof and ceiling to help Kyle put insulation there. I wasn't strong enough to keep my weight only on the 2x4s so Kyle (the stud) did it all and i just stayed on a few boards near the opening feeding him the insulation.

Kyle has also been VERY busy at work. So far they have sufficient work considering the economy. Everyone has been bidding just about anything they can to make sure they have enough work in the future.

I have been super busy as well. They kids and daily chores of course keep me busy. I also have been busy with the Adoption Support Group. With the help of a friend I got a website and discussion board set up. I am still learning how to add other things to the website. check it out As I come in contact with more families raising their adoptive child with attachment issues I have also been consulting with families more often. Recently Prema's school asked for my assistance with a new student.

This week I started my first "green thumb" project since living in this house. My mother in law has a true "green thumb" so up to this point given that I have been either very pregnant or with a toddler at the time of spring I have asked her to help with the planting. This year I decided to try some things on my own. I've planted some new plants and patched up the lawn with plugs this weekend. Now the true test: will they grow.

Prema turned 10 years old yesterday (legally). She is doing quite well. Prema now has 2 friends whom she invited over to our house yesterday for her party. They played and ate for about 3 hours. It was nice to see her celebrating her day with friends never feeling left out of conversations, etc. Tonight Kyle and I are taking her to an Indian restaurant.

In school Prema is doing very well. She is now reading at a beginning first grade level and doing simple addition of one digit numbers. Almost all of the reports from school with regard to her behavior are good. She has just started spelling tests so we'll see how fast she can retain words. Her language is still not fluent and she is not understanding questions so this will severely limit her abilities if she doesn't improve. We can understand the language she does have a lot better.

Prema's adenoid surgery was on Monday. She did great and there were no complications. She has only complained of a pain a little bit this week. The worst part is her breath. It is potent. We've been told she can have bad breath for up to 3 weeks. The smell is so bad we have every window in the house open and I still get a gag reflex when she is close to me. It is horrible to eat the same table with her.

Isaac is busy busy busy and loud loud loud. He is always talking or singing even with made up words. Some of his words sound like bad words. One of his favorites is "dicky docky". As I write he is shouting at the top of his lungs "grace grace of your Lord." He loves numbers. He is often asking a math problem. "How many people are in the house right now?" "How many will be here when the boys leave?" Isaac has also been having more play dates. He LOVES to play. If you try to sit him down to do anything "academic" he refuses. He only wants to play so we don't push anything. You're only a kid once, might as well play while you can. He is very excited for his 4th birthday on April 1st.

Eli is at an AWESOME stage. He is talking, using tons of new words every day. The minute he hears a word he gives it a try. Eli is also at the place where he copies anything his older brother does. Isaac and Eli are always playing together. It works out well for now because Eli will do anything Isaac tells him to do including give up his toys. Most of the time you hear Isaac asking Eli a question and Eli will say "ya". Eli has caught onto pretend playing really fast since he has Isaac to model and play with him.

We think we have dodged the ear tubes with Eli. We heard about taking kids to a chiropractor for ear infections. We didn't want to do the ear tubes at all so we decided to give it a try. I know some of you are thinking how could you possibly take your child to a chiropractor to have them man handled, but it is very different than you think. There were some x rays to determine if he was out of a-line. Then ll the doctor does based on some measurements from the x ray is tap with an instrument a few times behind one of Eli's ear. We've visited 4 times once a week and have one more visit. Right before we went to see the chiropractor for the first time Eli saw the ENT the same day. The ENT reported tons of fluid in both ears. Two weeks later Eli got a cold and the flu and the pediatrician reported fluid but no infection. Every time in the past when he has gotten a cold he has gotten an infection. Since that check he has not had an infection at all!!! So I believe the chiropractor has helped.

I think that is it for now.

Adenoid Surgery in Future

2009-02-10T18:14:00.001-08:00

I took Prema to the ENT last Friday. The doctor took one look at the x-ray and a quick glance up her nose, in her ears and mouth and told me she needed her adenoids removed. Her surgery is scheduled for Monday March 16. It is 20 min outpatient surgery. She will be able to do whatever afterwards but is going to feel like she has a cold for at least a week.

She has told us some traumatic things about a hospital visit in India. The only hospital visit we know about from that time was when she had her adenoids removed the first time. She recalls peeing the bed and the nurse yelling at her and the IV pulling out and bleeding. So hopefully she won't be too scared this time and will feel safe so we don't have any behaviors develop.

What Happens When You Spend All Night At Choir Practice

2009-01-28T17:20:00.001-08:00

Your husband gets on and posts things that you were hoping to post about...That's right.
The news is Prema has actually started to tell us some stuff about being back in India. She remembers eating pizza with Michelle and Kristin when Michelle first went to get her and playing on the roof of the orphanage. There are some other things that she has told Michelle also, and in true Prema style she has mixed in some obvious and total fabrications just for our enjoyment.
This is great because maybe one day we will find out enough to have a real story of what has happened to her....but I'm not really sure that I actually want to know.
BTW the picture is right after I yanked a really loose baby tooth recently.

Another Doctor

2009-01-27T19:32:00.000-08:00

We got the results from Prema's x-ray. Her adenoids have grown back. In January of 2005 her medical records show that she had the removed in India while she was in care of the orphanage. Our pediatrician says that if you don't get all the tissue when you operate they can regenerate just like a lizards tail. The x-ray is showing they are present and somewhat enlarged but we won't know the real story until we visit the ENT. In the past 2.5 years for Prema:

Pediatrician - same as any kid
Neurologist- included an EEG for seizures (no seizures detected) and MRI at hospital for brain damage information (non detected)
Genetics- nothing discovered, but ruled out Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Orthopedic- Shriner's Hospital provides Prema with orthotics for balance problems
Physical Therapy (private and school)
Attachment Therapy (LMHC)- 2 years of visits and finally done
Neurofeedback specialist - 1.5 years of sessions and soon will be done
Oral Surgeon- tooth removed in hospital
Dentist
Orthodontist- starting braces in one year
Pediatric Optometrist- no sight problems at this time
Occupational Therapy (school)
Speech/ Language (school)
X-rays several times for several things
A lot of Lab tests
Hearing Tests

Each time we go to a new specialist/ medical facility it is always very interesting. Prema is a bit of an anomaly in the medical field. The people have never had any experience with a profoundly deaf child, adopted later in life, severely neglected, and with no history until her arrival at the orphanage. We've gotten recommendations to give up and stop putting any effort into her because her brain is the size of a 14 month old baby and can't do that much to lots of encouragement to keep doing anything we can because the prognosis of her achievements is unknown. We've met some incredible people along the years who are willing to do whatever they can to help us. And thankfully we have extremely supportive family living close by to help watch the boys during or accompany us to appointments so I can focus on everything the doctors/ specialists are telling me.

I keep you updated on our ENT visit. We are scheduled for February 3rd. Hopefully this is the last specialist for a few years.

Why I Haven't Posted

2009-01-25T19:08:00.000-08:00

So as you can tell it has been a while since my last post. Of course you can assume busy times with the holidays and raising 3 kids. All of this is true.

We had a wonderful Christmas.
Our church was in the midst of a "facelift" from the last week of October until Christmas Eve morning. We decided to move our altar from the north end of the worship space to the south end and spruce things up a bit. With Kyle (Florida Electrical Service) in charge of the electrical for the project, Isaac and Prema performing in the Christmas Eve nativity, and I signing in the choir; we spent a lot of time the week before Christmas at church. The unveiling of the new sanctuary was on Christmas Eve and it was beautiful. Every did an awesome job putting in a lot of extra hours to make it all happen from the construction all the way to the music and decorations. Isaac was the Drummer Boy and did an awesome job at 2 performances and Prema signed "We Three Kings" at one performance on Christmas Eve.

Christmas Morning we boarded a plane and traveled to Wisconsin for Christmas with my family. We spent 4 days enjoying the snow and spending time playing with aunts, uncles, cousins, and Grandma and Grandpa. It was the first time our kids had seen snow and played in it. Eli hated it, and only wanted to eat it. Prema and Isaac loved it, but Prema was not the smartest when it came to keeping herself warm while playing. She would pull off her mittens and play in the snow with bare hands later to come inside crying about how sore her hands were. Kyle and I enjoyed watching the kids in the snow but we didn't like the whole production of getting them ready to play or the cold itself. Needless to say we were quite happy to come back to sunny Florida on the 30th.

Since then we've been busy with the daily routines. Prema is back at school. The boys and I have enough to keep us busy during the day with playing and keeping the house relatively clean and smoothly running. I had the chance to ride my new road bike once with Kyle and loved it. We've also been on some fun family adventures. Kyle's parents and I took Prema and Isaac to the Barnum and Bailey Circus in Tampa. The next week Kyle and I took the kids to Planet Jump with some friends (a warehouse filled with blow up bouncing things). This weekend we took the kids to "Touch a Truck and Clown Day" at our local park.

The other thing that has been keeping my busy are my New Year's Resolutions. I have a list posted on my kitchen cupboard which contains 10 things. Some are daily must do's and others are a one or two time thing but will take a lot of work to make it happen. This list can be daunting at times when other things take priority, but I persevere.

My hope is that I will load my pics from Christmas until now soon and post them on here too.

Venting Thoughts

2008-12-17T11:54:00.000-08:00

As I sit at the computer waiting Prema out while she throws her third tantrum this week (which could last a few hours), I will try to ignore her by venting some frustrations over the past month. The boys are sleeping.

I am not sure if I've become more sensitive to the way people interact with kids simply because I have kids or because of trying to help Prema heal from Reactive Attachment Disorder. I am becoming increasingly concerned for our youth and mad at society for the way adults interact with children. I am not sure if the way adults are behaving is changing or if it is a concern I have because of the way many children are being raised.

some examples:

This month I was in the store with both boys holding onto the sides of the stroller. A worker from the store came up to Eli (1 year old) and took his hand and said "Come with me" and took a few steps away from me. I was in shock at the time so she may have said more words that made it sound like a joke, but I am positive she never said anything like "you're so cute, I'd love to just take you home." as I've heard in the past from some adults. Instead, the woman literally was acting like she was going to take him. Eli looked at me and then pulled his hand away from her refusing to go. I am almost positive she was "playing" but WHAT IN THE WORLD KIND OF JOKE IS THIS. It wasn't funny to me.

That same day, that same store Isaac was being disrespectful to me (a common thing these days as he tries to claim his independence) while we were checking out. The cashier started saying "if you're going to keep being naughty Santa's not going to come to your house". WHAT RIGHT DOES SHE HAVE TO THREATEN MY CHILD? Isaac stopped his fit and thought quietly for a moment and replied "We don't do Santa". So I left it at that...his behavior changed and maybe she learned a little lesson in holding her tongue.

Today at the dentist, one of the women continued saying "That's my girl/boy" to each of my kids respectively. After Prema had her tooth pulled (a 2 minute ordeal in which over half was numbing the area) they wanted to hug her. We have a rule due to RAD that Prema is only allowed to hug Kyle and myself...so I am really over sensitive about this. But my thoughts were...YOU ONLY SEE MY CHILD TWICE A YEAR FOR 20 MINUTES, YOU BARELY KNOW HER AND SHE BARELY KNOWS YOU...PLEASE STOP TREATING HER AND TALKING TO HER LIKE SHE IS PART OF YOUR FAMILY WHEN REALLY YOU ARE PRETTY MUCH A STRANGER TO HER.

I guess my vent is... in a world where more and more kids are being abducted, abused, neglected, not getting lots of time from parents, etc. Children are needing boundaries more than ever. In wanting to become more CHILD FRIENDLY we have lost a lot of what used to make our world safe for our children. Boundaries have been lost everywhere. How do our children learn safe boundaries that protect themselves when people besides their immediate/ extended family and school are hugging them, calling them 'theirs', stepping outside their role in the child's life (i.e. threatening my child about Santa when I am in the disciplinarian role), etc.

thoughts?

And More Update

2008-12-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

Isaac marching Bob the Builder on the bandstand

Prema performing at Deaf Extravaganza...she paid attention and signed the whole thing!!!!

Eli wearing Native American hat for Thanksgiving.

Sandy and Amber wearing turkey hats for Thanksgiving dinner.

Isaac wearing pilgrim hat for Thanksgiving dinner.

More Update

2008-12-15T16:21:00.000-08:00

Prema Isaac and Eli sporting the snowman shirts we made

Holiday Update

2008-12-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

Sorry to anyone who may have been hoping for an update sooner. We've been really busy trying to get ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We've also have had my mom and dad and Sam and Amber visiting.

Here is a little picture update:
making Thanksgiving Day table runner with pine cones, pine needles and leaves.

Prema wearing Pilgrim Hat for Thanksgiving Dinner

Kyle and Sam shoving their mouths full of corn bread wearing Native American hat at Thanksgiving dinner.

feeding our friend's chickens

Isaac and Prema holding fresh eggs from our visit with our friend's chickens

Yours and Only Yours

2008-11-12T11:41:00.000-08:00

I've always found it a bit amusing that with each baby that is born one of the first remarks from people is who the child's physical features resemble the most. We analyze some small details like the length of the fingers and toes, point or bulge in the nose, etc and connect it to the mom or the dad. As the children become older those common features become more acute along with the personality traits and lots of other things. Recently I've become very aware of the personality and other habits our children have acquired being parented by myself and Kyle. The most troubling is that it seems children pick up on some of your worst habits/ flaws and use them when interacting with you. All those things you do that have annoyed others throughout the years but you haven't bothered to change will come back to haunt you...BEWARE. However in the situation with Prema struggling to attach to us as her parents we have sometimes silently celebrated some of our flaws and habits that she has acquired for it is a sign of attachment. So now for your enjoyment I'll list some of the things our kids have picked up on.

Eli- throwing temper tantrums with gusto. Kyle and I are were not the most calm people when we are angry as children and still struggle as adults.

Isaac- talking to Kyle in the same tone I do when I'm not being the most respectful, biting his fingernails, picking his nose, touching his nose with his tongue (I can do this and we learned Isaac could do this too when he had a cold. He would refuse to use a kleenex and instead would lick his boogers out of his nose). smelling things over and over again...the kid has the nose of a hound and he's really funny dramatically sniffing in the air whenever he smells something and then tries to name the smell.

Prema- ordering other kids around (due to her lack of any language especially for the first year we tended to only give her directions most of the time so that the language was clear and she would become obedient and respectful and she ignores any conversations we have with all adults-deaf included- so she doesn't pay attention to healthy conversations) picking her nose and eating her boogers, standing and sitting with her arms crossed, signing with the same facial expressions I use, snapping her fingers to get people's attention (her teachers were wondering where she acquired this habit and just as they were about to ask me I snapped at Prema to get her attention--a bit embarrassing)

So now that some of their bad habits which are mine also are starting to bother me, I'm trying to change but it sure is hard work. Pray for me. We can't all be perfect.

Happy 30th Birthday Kyle

2008-11-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

Today Kyle celebrated his 30th birthday. check out this great post from his mom's blog. Happy Birthday Kyle. We love you.

Saint Alphonsa and Isaac

2008-11-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

In celebration of All Souls/ All Saints Day at church today Prema and Isaac dressed up as saints. Prema was the first woman saint of India, Sister Alphonsa who was canonized last month. Isaac was dressed as Fr. Isaac Joques, a French missionary to the Indians in Canada. The kids wore their costumes all during mass and then after communion they processed in and walked around the church as the people sang "Oh When the Saints Go Marching In".

These costumes were my second sewing project as an adult. Last year I made a school bag for Prema. The costume patterns said it would take 2 hours each, but it took much longer as I needed to re-acquaint myself with the sewing machine and have not followed a sewing pattern since middle school. Isaac's took me at least 6 hours and Prema's took about 3 hours. I had some very informative and helpful instruction from my mother in law Sandy before I began. I've always wanted to learn to sew, so I decided this was the time to start. I didn't even know the basics like how to measure the material. I'm happy with how they turned out and I did have many enjoyable moments doing it among the other stressful and frustrating moments.

Halloween

2008-11-02T12:32:00.000-08:00

We had a great time celebrating Fall on Halloween. We don't do go trick or treating for a few reason. In our opinion Halloween has become too much a celebration about blood, scary and evil things. It seems to be getting worse every year. We don't want our kids dressing in those things nor do we really want them seeing them as something to celebrate. The decorations in stores and on houses are scary enough. All of our kids struggle to know what is fiction and what is real so we just try to stay away from it all. However, in order that they don't feel "left out" when all the kids are talking about the excitement around Halloween we have our own Fall celebration at home. This year we bobbed for apples, had a pumpkin rolling contest and broke open the pinatas that we made. It was a blast. The kids struggled to get the apples themselves with their mouths, but enjoyed trying. Eli just kept getting in the pool and eating large portions of each apple as everyone tried. The pinatas were a bit difficult to break since they were very thick and being hit with plastic bats, but eventually they cracked and then we tore into them.

Go Rays

2008-10-13T16:55:00.000-07:00

the boys with their Rayhawks. If you don't know, some of the players on the Rays' baseball team have mohawaks, so in celebration of their success many many people around Tampa Bay have gotten "Rayhawks".

First Triathlon

2008-10-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

Well I did it!! I completed my first triathlon this weekend. It was a sprint Triathlon consisting of a 600 meter swim (a bit less than 1/2 mile), 10 mile run, and 3.1 mile run. The race was at Cypress Gardens in Winter Haven Florida. The swim was in the lake at the Gardens where they do water ski shows. The bike was on the major roads outside the Gardens and the run was in the gardens. It was a lot of fun. I did well for my first time, especially on the swim portion. I also had great time. Sandy (my mother in law) completed the race with me, but we started at different times so we didn't actually race alongside one another. We stayed the night in Winter Haven in a hotel the night before and played at Cypress Gardens after the race before coming home.

I woke up at 5 a.m. and got ready while Kyle and the kids slept. I met up with Sandy, David and Grandma Temple at 5:30 to go down to the race. From 5:30-7:30 a.m. Sandy and I got our transition station (bike, shoes, gels, race number, etc) ready, walked some of the course, ate a bit and went to the bathroom many many times. We started the race with the swim at about 7:50 a.m. Sandy started one wave before me and I was the last wave to go based on my fat tire bike. I finished the swim in 18:08, bike in 44:18, and run in 34:11. The swim was probably the most challenging as I've never done an open swim before. The water was really dark and you have keep sighting the next buoy to stay on course. The bike had some hills I didn't expect but it was a lot of fun. I'm hoping to have a road/ triathlon bike the next time I complete to shave some minutes off this time. The run was hard and actually a bit emotional as I knew I could finish it out and saw so many different people working so hard to finish as well.

Sandy and I were so lucky to have our family there to cheer us on. Sam (Kyle's brother) and Amber came down from Kentucky. Grandma Temple, David, Kyle and the kids all came to watch. They drove up to the bike start just as I was getting on my bike. My chain fell off so I was really grateful for the timing as Sam talked me through how to fix it. They moved to the transition area and were there to cheer us on as we went from biking to running and ran to the finish line. Since I had such a good time and I really like exercising with a goal to shoot for, I'm hoping to try another triathlon in the spring.

Afterwards we had a great time going through Cypress Gardens with the family. They have wonderful rides for the kids. All three kids and adults got to go on some rides.

Therapy Complete

2008-10-05T18:38:00.000-07:00

Two years ago in October we began Reactive Attachment Therapy with Prema. We will never forget the day. Every October the neighbor's palm tree seeds fall to ground. (We take care of their lawn while they are at home in Canada 6 months of the year.) Prema had recently been diagnosed with RAD by a LMHC (therapist), but she herself didn't know much about the disorder beyond the symptoms. Through some research and a recommendation by an acquaintance we had come to know about Nancy Thomas. We quickly ordered as much as we could from the attachment web site and began watching countless hours of video detailing the therapy we needed to begin. As soon as we finished the videos, we began the therapy with no idea what was really going to happen. We had to make huge changes to the way we were parenting Prema.

One of the changes was getting Prema to complete 30 minutes of chores a day. So on day one we began with the simple chore of picking up the palm seeds from the ground. What seemed like a small task for a 7 year old (really 9) turned out to be a 3 day stand off with Prema refusing. I remember the countless times we second guessed the situation. We had a language barrier so we marked off the area with rope to make sure she knew how much she had to pick up. We modeled the process over and over again picking up seeds, putting them in a small bucket and emptying the bucket into the trash can. We had to literally camp outside all day long until dark because she had no language to tell us when she was ready to start to work. We also had another child in the house that needed attention and Prema who couldn't be left outside alone. We kept Prema out of school until she picked them up because we were determined to win the battle. Kyle had to stay home from work so that we could share the duty of watching Isaac and Prema. We frantically were trying to find a therapist in the area that knew something about RAD and therapy techniques. It was a nightmare.

Eventually we did find a therapist. There is only on person in our entire county that does proper attachment therapy. Luckily she was able to see us quickly and we began what became a 2 year journey of therapy toward healing Prema helping her attach to us. Last week we determined that Prema should be discharged. It was a joyous and sad moment all at the same time. I remember watching those videos and hearing of how children heal from RAD. I would envision our family and Prema with healing. At that time a "healed Prema" was a completely normal child with deafness. Prema is still very far from normal. But she is very different than what she was 2 years ago. Two years ago we couldn't get her to sit in our laps without kicking and fighting. Now she accepts all of our affection and gives affection herself. Two years ago Prema would pee the bed every night and would destroy things in rage. Now she does neither. Two years ago she would refuse to do chores for days, now she only says "no" once in a while but is quick to change when her mind when we give her a disapproving look or a choice to receive a consequence.

It has been an exhausting two years. I don't think I've every experienced so many emotions about one thing: rage, embarrassment, joy, anger, frustration, hopelessness, hope, despair, excitement, etc. I have been brought out of my comfort zone so many times during this process. I have also learned a TON.

For two years we have put everything we have (time, money, and energy) in to "healing" Prema. As you spend time in the season of searching for answers and solutions its hard to ever come to a place of full acceptance. But as all of Prema's therapies are coming to an end (attachment, physical therapy, neurofeedback) it becomes time to stop hoping for some of your dreams and just accept her. As I am realizing my dream of a "normal Prema" is probably not going to be a reality, I'm learning even more than before how awful neglect really is. When you're in the midst of therapies there is hope that with hard work, love, and perseverance you can wipe away the past. But now as Prema is attached to us and comfortable in our family and America reality sets in: you can take the child out of India, but India will still be a part of her. You can take the child out of a neglectful situation but the affects of neglect will always remain. Prema is always going to be socially awkward, a slow learner, and a challenge to parent. But in the midsts of knowing these things I must accept it and find a balance of maintaining high expectations for her to always desire to achieve more. Sometimes this is a daunting task.

Celebrating Fall

2008-10-04T17:22:00.001-07:00

Last week we made fall pumpkin/ jack o lantern shirts with the kids. Thankfully Kyle was there to help with another one of my craft ideas. I have a habit of skimming the directions and thinking i know what I am doing only to find out I am wrong and panic. Kyle had to fix the dye mixture and Prema's outline (which originally looked more like a dog than a pumpkin). Kyle and I also have orange tie-dyed shirts but we haven't added the jack o lantern face. Isaac wants to wear his shirt every day and requests we wear them at the same time.

New Things for Me

2008-09-16T17:57:00.000-07:00

Today marked the beginning of two new things for me; both of which bring a bit of anxiety.

I have been asked by a special task force (Director and Assistant Director of Adoptions for Pinellas County Florida and our adotion attachment therapy LMHC) to start an adoption support group for Pinellas County Florida. Throughout the years Child Welfare has come to see a huge need for support for families that have just adopted. Families have been calling several years after an adoption is finalized to dissolve the adoption either because it is the only way to get a child the services they need or because the family can no longer raise the child mostly due to emotional/ behavioral reasons. The hope is that an adoption support group would become a preventative solution to these problems. So I have enthusiastically (with some anxiety) agreed to begin this group. So far things have come into place beautifully. We have a place to meet every 4th Monday evening of the month and I have a great friend and experienced adoptive mother as my assistant. Out first meeting will be October 27 (my birthday). Many adoptive families will be invited this coming month...we shall see how many come and what are their needs. I am every excited for this opportunity. I have become extremely passionate about adoption, children with emotional needs due to neglect and trauma, and yearn to help adoptive families who are struggling to become whole.

This evening I registered for my first triathlon. I will be competing in the Publix Family Fitness Cypress Gardens Sprint Triathlon October 11. I am very nervous. I have been trying to fit training in as much as possible. I have swam a number of times and do pretty well. I have biked 3 or 4 long rides towing the boys behind me. And I have been running about 3 times a week usually pushing Eli in the stroller. So we'll see how I do. I am only trying to finish and have FUN. The FUN part is really a challenge for me as I make everything so competitive and set such high expectations for myself. So we shall see. Wish me luck.

Long Overdue Update

2008-09-06T17:35:00.000-07:00

We've had our computer back for a while now but I haven't taken the time to update this blog. Sorry for the delay if you have been waiting.

Once a week since our return from India 3 1/2 years ago we have Community Dinner with Kyle's parents. Sometimes it ends up being just us but the many times we have others join us. Kyle's mom always does the cooking and once in a while she will spice it up a bit with a themed meal. A month ago she saw an interesting recipe for green eggs and ham and wanted to try it. Below is a picture from our DR.SUESS meal/ silly meal. The green eggs and ham were AWESOME by the way.

We were very excited about the Olympics this year. I always am but it was the first Summer Olympics that Kyle and I were watching together. We were also very excited to share it with Isaac and Prema as they have become swimmers and cyclists themselves. We started our Olympic view at Kyle's parents house watching the opening ceremonies and continued spending many late late nights at their house watching swimming, gymnastics, beach volleyball, diving, track and field. We all loved it!!! Prema and Isaac would take their enthusiasm with them to the ppol and pretend to be Michael Phelps diving off the block, swimming and winning complete with ecstatic splashing of the water and fist pumps. On our Community Dinner night Sandy prepared an Olympic meal. The kids made Olympic rings for the decorations and Sandy cooked all Chinese food to eat. We drew Olympic rings on the kids' faces and arms too. Then we finished the evening watching some Olympic competition.

I've been reorganizing the house a bit. We decided to make our dining room into a place for the kids to create whatever they want whenever (they have to ask to use the supplies before starting). So we bought some new shelving and got all of our craft supplies out and in clear storage containers so the kids would be more inspired to create. We still have to finish making the "GALLERY WALL" but our front door is sufficient for now. In one of my craft kid magazines I found a recipe for EDIBLE paint. I mixed some up for Eli and let him go. As soon as I said it was edible (using that word too) Eli picked up the bowl and started drinking it. He had a blast.

Other updates:
The kids are still loving to swim every day. Isaac is a fish. He has a really good track start and can swim really far without taking a breath. He is working on his butterfly and backstroke. All of his attempts are very cute. Prema's front crawl is looking much smoother. She is also doing fairly well with backstroke. She is really trying hard to make it one length of the pool without needing someone to give her a rest stop. Eli is crazy at the pool. He is exploring new things all the time.

Isaac is 100% self sufficient at riding a 2 wheel bike now. He rides his bike 3 times a week for 3 miles next to me while I run and never gets tired. Prema is riding but struggling to start herself and come to a complete stop before putting her feet down. Her week abs and legs are really causing some difficulty with those two things.

Prema is doing really well at school full time. She's had a few off days but for the most part her behavior at home and school has been quite good. The school continues to be very supportive of our wants and her needs. Its very nice to have so much collaboration. The boys and I are starting to get into a good routine while Prema is at school. Its really nice to have more time to focus on them.

Eli has started to sign a lot of words. Any time we show him a new sign he tries it right away now. A lot of his signs are starting to look the same as he can't make the fine finger details happen, but its very cute. Eli is also finally loving shoes. We discovered he has a double wide (almost triple wide) foot so all the other shoes I was putting on him were not comfortable. His new shoes he loves and stomps around in them all the time.

hopefully it won't be so long before i post again.

Without Computer

2008-08-14T16:29:00.000-07:00

Once again it has been a while since I blogged. We're still busy here in Florida, but without a computer. While we were watching some Olympic streamed video our computer froze. I ended up having to manually shut it down and it never started correctly again. The hard drive motor died and thus we were denied access to anything on the computer. The good news is that it is still under warranty and we will get it back soon. The bad news is that all of our pictures and video were on it. Thankfully I had backed up all of our 2007 pictures and videos, but anything after January 1 2008 is lost. We have the "best" photos on Facebook, this blog, Flickr and Snapfish so we have some access to pictures...but our videos are lost. Oh well, I've learned my lesson I hope and when the kids are older they won't really miss the few videos that have been lost in 6 months of their lives.

Once I get the computer back I will update with pictures of the latest: Olympic party, Isaac and Prema both riding their 2 wheel bikes successfully (with some problems breaking), a Green Eggs and Ham dinner, and whatever else I can think of.

Prema starts school full time on Tuesday. I'm already creating the "Prema Handbook" for the staff that will be working with her as a refresher from my training last year and any new things to watch out for. I am struggling to lose some of the control over her life. Its a bit scary leaving her with other adults for 6+ hours of the day. Hopefully everyone will work well together and she will grow emotionally and developmentally.

Enjoy the end of Summer!

i've Been Meme'd

2008-07-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

whatever meme'd means...so here is are the rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

so my 7 things are: which you all probably know already since i'm not that private especially those things I have any opinion on.

1. I love to smell things, especially related to my body and if you watch me closely you can catch me doing it as I can't resist even in public, but I try to do is discretely: my hands after i wash them, the dandruff from my head after I itch my head, zit puss, the stuff that resides in your belly button, and the stuff that you find on the back of your earrings if you've worn them a long time (like me who never takes them out except to clean them) and last but not least those yellow-ish looking seeds/ balls that sometimes release themselves from the back of your throat (i discovered them at a young age playing oboe and became more addicted when another friend showed me how you can scrape them out with the end of your toothbrush)

2. one of the biggest things Kyle loves about me is my ability to use words incorrectly and mix up idioms/ commonly used phrases.

3. I rarely laugh at other people's jokes, only my own. I'm not quick enough to laugh at the right time or don't understand the humor when it comes to other people's jokes. Or I just don't think its funny.

4. My Indian landlord saw me naked once as he arrived at and opened our door unannounced and I was about to get dressed after taking a shower. He said "Oh God, sorry" (apply Bengali accent here)

5. Our son Isaac was conceived at London's Heathrow Airport on our way back to India from a visit to the US.

6. I am a bleeding heart

7. I have cute feet

so now I tag... Sam Cullum , Carrie Miller , Sandy , Kate Tucker and all you other peeps that have been meme'd that are my friends that haven't posted yet.

New Things

2008-07-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

Besides swimming, Prema and Isaac are learning to ride 2 wheel bikes. For the past 2 years we have tried several different techniques to help Prema learn. She has bent every set of training wheels we have tried (some super heavy duty sets too) and its a lot of work trying to hold her up while running along side even while holding one of those handles designed to hold kids up on bikes. She gives minimal effort to pedaling correctly on our tow behind bike and is always leaning against Kyle, thus not really teaching her proper balance. After many attempts with long sabbaticals in between with hopes of growing in maturity and strength, we became hopeless that we would ever enjoy a bike ride as a family without having to tow along our oldest. As one last hope I began searching the internet for "learning how to ride a bike" and came across several sites with a self teaching method. The very next day we got Prema's bike out and took it apart as directed and bought Isaac a new bike his size taking it apart also. We didn't want to spend the money buying the Skuut bike (click on the bike image to see a video of the learning process) or imitation so we decided to work with cheaper bikes they can use later We removed the training wheels, chain, and pedals. Since then they've been "walking" the bikes every day to and from the pool. Each day they get faster and faster and use their feet less to slow down or stop on declines. Their balance and steering have improved and all along the way Kyle and I have not broken a sweat. We just walk Eli in the stroller at leisurely pace watching them learn on their own. Isaac has come farther than Prema, but at least we're hopeful that Prema will learn and we won't have to become so frustrated in the process. Eventually we will put the chain and pedals back on, but there will be no need for the training wheels.

On July 19th Kyle and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. We spent the evening eating at our favorite Italian restaurant, as has become our tradition. The food and company were great. Its been quite a LONG 5 years...its amazing how India, and all of our kids have changed us and our marriage (including the number of pictures we have of ourselves together...we seem to only get a picture in here or there with one of us holding the camera).

The week before our wedding anniversary, I got LASIK surgery done. So far the results are great. My sight is improving each day and minus some pain about 2 hours after surgery, the recovery was good. Sometimes I still go to bed thinking I forgot to do something (remove my contacts) and its amazing to wake up in the wee hours of the night for a child and be able to see them immediately.

4th of July

2008-07-15T18:01:00.000-07:00

We had a great time celebrating the 4th of July this year. We stayed in town and celebrated with the Drew and Karamin Heuertz family. We started the festivities at our neighborhood pool swimming a bit. Then we all came over to our house and had a cook out. After eating we had the kids complete a craft activity in an effort to keep them more calm before the fireworks. They made 4th of July hats (pictures below). It took all four adults to assist them in the project due to the properties of duct tape, but it was at least more calm than usual after dinner and less noisy. Then we all headed to the Largo HS football field for some fireworks. Drew is one of the football coaches so he was given permission to take us all through the gates and onto the field to watch the fireworks. It was awesome. Isaac brought his football and helmet so he could play on the field. The kids got to run around freely without any fear for the adults about crowds or personal fireworks. Then we also did our own sparklers on the field at dusk. We ended the night sitting at the top of the bleachers watching the city show right in front of us with several other public displays in the background. It was beautiful.

The best quotes of the evening came from Isaac as he tried to understand the idea of the 4th of July. I had been telling him it was America's birthday celebrating our freedom. He knows America in the context that he lives in America and that it is not India where Prema used to live. When Karamin brought the 4th of July cupcakes in our house, he really knew it was a "birthday" celebration as that is the only time we have them. When it was time to eat the cupcakes Isaac wanted to know "when is America coming so we can eat the cupcakes" (he thought we should sing "Happy Birthday" to her and knows you don't eat before the guest of honor). The when he saw the city fireworks display (his first time seeing a public display) he shouted with excitement "America's birthday candles!"

Little Fish

2008-07-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

We have some swimmers in the pool now. Isaac, Prema and Eli are all doing well. All three do a cross between "dog paddle" and "front crawl"(aka freestyle). They all put their faces in the water, paddle the arms and kick. No one is strong enough yet to get their arms out of the water for a front craw stroke, but Prema has some good attempts. And No one is strong enough yet to swim continuously lifting their head out of the water to take a breath. Prema's kicking is quite weak and awkward as she struggles to keep her legs straight and toes pointed. Once she started wearing goggles she was no longer afraid of the deep end and working hard to swim further. (I think with the deafness she relies on her eyes so much more that goggles helped her feel more safe as she could see under water better). Isaac is jumping into any depth of water and swimming back to the wall on his own. Eli gets in to the pool just like all kids (turning around and sliding in feet first) hangs on the wall with one hand and lets go trying to swim to mom/ dad. He drinks a lot of water in the process but is always smiling and laughing even under water. His big gut is gigantic by the time he is done swimming...full of water. We have been swimming just about every day since the beginning of May...one of the great things about living in Florida. A few times we have

Baseball Fans

2008-07-04T10:48:00.001-07:00

If you don't know it yet, the Tampa Bay Rays are number one in baseball right now. Its an exciting time in our house as Kyle has always been a fan of baseball, but now Isaac is old enough to have an interest too. Since Isaac's first trip to a major league game in the spring, he has had a big interest in being a baseball player. He became even more of a fan when he say his second cousin Isaiah Cullum (who is REALLY good) play a little league game. He came home from the game with knowledge of the dug out happenings, running bases, hitting and pitching. And since then he has gone to several TB Rays games with Kyle.

Now that its baseball season; the football, helmet, and marching band have been taking long break. So instead we hold daily pitching and batting practice sessions (sometimes 4 a day) out in the front yard. Isaac has quite an arm when it comes to pitching. He can throw you a strike when he pays attention. He can also hit a pitched ball quite well. He needs some work on fielding and catching, especially using a glove. What I really love about practicing with him is that he loves to takes turns batting and pitching, so I don't get stuck doing one or the other.

Prema has gone to a couple games too. Once she touched the live rays, scanned the crowd a few times, and watched the mascot Raymond dance a bit, she is no longer interested. She just wants to leave and get ice cream (which she will ask you about the entire game over and over and over and over again).

Prema thought it was funny to wear her hat and make this face.

touching the Rays at the game.

Bonk Beds

2008-07-04T10:39:00.001-07:00

If you've ever been around David (Kyle's dad) you know he loves to make puns. Puns have always been a part of Kyle's nature too given he is his Dad's son, but over the years of spending consistent time with his dad, puns have become more of a part of his comedy routine too. Isaac has always had a very good sense of humor, picking up on some of David and Kyle's jokes I even struggle to understand. But now he has also begun to create his own puns: a true Cullum thing.

On the first night sitting in his new bed (bunk beds), he bounced in excitement ultimately bumping his head on the upper bunk. He climbs down from the bed laughing exclaiming "Its okay I bonked my head because they are BONK beds." I think he really did believe their name was BONK beds at the time.

Painful Conversation

2008-06-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

Conversations have been painful, extremely painful, for the past 2 weeks at our house. Not the kind of pain that causes one to cry. Painful in its complications. Painful in its slow process.
Prema and Isaac have both reached the developmental stage of playing with others instead of mirror playing. They also are in that "mine" stage, where sharing becomes impossible in their eyes. With Prema home full time again for some of the summer, I feel like crying, ripping the hair out of my head, or just doing it for them by the time the end of the day comes, especially on Friday. This stage is hard enough when you have a normal situation. But instead we have a deaf child who can only sign and doesn't fully understand and/ or fully engage half of he conversation involving her AND a very smart hearing child that understands everything but struggles to sign at the level he speaks/ thinks. So with EVERY conversation held between Prema and Isaac I become referee ("don't hit... sign", don't take that... sign), sign language teacher, external moderator ("pay attention", "look at her/him", "think about what he is saying"), and interpreter of unclear signs. Its painful to watch and be a part of. With each situation I struggle to not just take over and interpret every interchange. At least Isaac is willing to sign again (he used to get frustrated that he couldn't get his fingers/ hands to look exactly like an adult's signs) and Prema is patient enough to physically stand waiting for Isaac to sign.

May Happenings

2008-06-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

This year we have a pool pass to our neighborhood pool. We get the key to the pool and can go swimming any time we want from sun up to sun down for such a cheap price. We live about a 4 minute walk from the pool. Every time we go there is barely anyone there, which is ideal for the kids to explore the water and learn new things each time they go. Prema thankfully is no longer drinking the pool until she pukes. She is keeping the water out of her mouth and floating in shallow water herself. Yesterday she started pushing off the walls to float. Her legs are so weak that she can't get them to do anything but a bicycle kick, which doesn't help you swim much. So we'll see if she begins to swim herself completely by the end of the summer. Isaac has it all together (kicking, paddling) but refuses to put his face in the water while doing those things. He'll only put his face in the water when he is standing or hanging on the wall. He loves to put a noodle under his chest and move all about the pool. Eli thinks he can swim. Thanks to his rolls of fat he can almost float himself. He is definitely a water dog. Hopefully I'll have pictures soon. Usually I take the kids myself, so any attempt at pictures may result in a drowning.

During Prema's last week of school, the boys and I took a "field trip" to a friends house to see some new baby chicks. The boys loved the chicks, digging up the mulch and trying to stay standing around chester the dog.

We've taken a few trips the the beach and continue to visit the Candy Kitchen on a weekly basis sometimes with friends.

May is practically summer here in Florida. This May was extremely dry and very hot, so a lot of our summer activities started after our return from Kentucky.

Flying Home

2008-05-25T11:29:00.001-07:00

Prema's head is so small from neglect that the same size headphones that Isaac had wouldn't fit her.

The boys love to help "fly"

Congratulations Uncle Sam and Aunt Amber

2008-05-25T11:23:00.000-07:00

Sam(Kyle's brother)and Amber were married in Lexington, Kentucky on May 3. Kyle was the best man and Isaac was the ring bearer. Prema wore the dress she received from the orphanage when she left 2 years ago.

Early Morning Flight

2008-05-25T11:14:00.001-07:00

Everyone is always excited to fly in Grandpa Cullum's (kyle's dad) super cruiser. We started our trip to Kentucky for Uncle Sam and Amber's wedding early morning May 1.

Eli is One..and a bit more by now

2008-05-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

Eli's first birthday was April 30. With our plans to travel to Kentucky for Sam and Amber's wedding on Thursday, we decided to celebrate early. On Sunday we always go out to lunch with Kyle's parents after church, so this time we invited the Heuertz family to join us. We all ate at Sonny's, our most frequented eating establishment.

Then we came back to our house for ice cream sundaes, except Eli. He got to eat bananas and strawberries. I read a study when Isaac was a baby that if you don't introduce unnatural sweets to a child before they are the age of 2, they are less likely to over indulge later in life...like they will only eat a small piece of cake instead of shoving down one huge or several pieces like many of us like to do...me included. I was successful with Isaac keeping sweets from him until he was two. But Eli is going to be a bigger challenge as he sees the other kids getting things or happens to "steal" the other's sweets if they leave them behind. For Isaac's first birthday I made an applesauce cake that tasted pretty tasteless, so this year I just went easy with the sundaes and fruit.

Then we opened presents. I say "we" because we all know that Eli was only interested a little bit. As the third child he didn't need anything but he got a few cool things to even the playing field a bit in the constant "it's mine" battle cries that happen daily between the kids.

Eli's first year of life felt a lot faster than Isaac's did. I realize how many more little things pass by you when there are other kids in the house demanding your attention too. Now as Eli gets older it is fun to watch how his personality differs from Isaac. He's a fun little guy to have around...that is for sure.

Craziness

2008-05-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the long time between posts. Life just keeps getting busier. Hopefully by the end of the week I can update with some details about Eli's first birthday and our trip to Kentucky for Sam's(kyle's brother)marriage to Amber.

For now I'll just include some general updates.

Eli is very mobile and very aware of when he is not obeying. He is learning everything so fast with having Isaac as a model. He makes noises for any vehicle when he plays, sings right along with all of us, isn't afraid to start a wrestling match, and is extremely adventurous (no fear).

Isaac is still a ton of fun to pretend with. He loves to include imaginary people into his pretend play now. Today we were pretending to fly our planes and land for a lunch together. Isaac had 5 kids and one of them was sitting on his lap. He began our lunch saying "so what would you like to talk about." And he will literally sit there and hold an adult conversation with you...you don't get bored. Lately, he is big on informing anyone when they are wrong and correcting them. He has an amazing memory about places, events, etc...I'm in shock of what he remembers before he was really verbal. He can hit a baseball (no tee) better than me and throw a ball with more accuracy than me. He is also into using persuasive tactics to make anything go his way from playing with certain toys, consequences he receives, etc. The worse part is that it is hard not to negotiate with him because he is so reasonable sometimes.

Prema is busy with school, private PT, neurofeedback, and finding ways to make me mad. I'm having a hard time feeling positive about her these past few weeks, so I can't think of that much to say about her.

Kyle's busy with work. He still is riding his bike back and forth to work which I am really proud of him. Its almost been a year. He is so close to finishing our pergola . He has done a really nice job. He is enjoying playing baseball with Isaac. It was fun to see him squeal in joy when Isaac hit his first pitch. He has also been really supportive of my new commitments to church..watching the kids.

I'm busy with the kids. It has almost been a year since I started running...so this is a really big hurdle for me. I used to hate running and now I am eager to get in my 3 times a week. I just need to increase my distance and time. I am really quite busy with church the past few months. I am now in the choir and last year I started a 3 year commitment on our pastoral council. I have been nominated to be on our "facelift" committee so those extra meetings are adding to the stressful schedule until the project is complete.

I had a nice mother's day weekend. Saturday night I met a friend for coffee for several hours. Her daughter also is adopted, deaf and has RAD so we support one another very well. On Sunday we went to church and lunch. Then Sandy (Kyle's mom) nd I went to see the Vatican Splendors, but decided to sell our tickets as the museum was behind over an hour. So instead I met kyle at the park with the kids and then we ate dinner and all went to Candy Kitchen for some awesome ice cream.

Isaac's On the Job

2008-04-22T16:38:00.001-07:00

Isaac's Birthday and Camping

2008-04-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

On April 1 Isaac turned 3 years old. We had a wonderful time celebrating over the course of two days; all planned by Isaac himself.

On Monday we had his birthday party with Kyle's parents and the Heuertz clan (a.k.a Drew, Karamin, Dillan, and Kenyan---he is starting to learn that we can just call them the Heuertz's instead of naming each of them individually). He didn't want to invite anyone else. We had it at the Walsingham park kids playground (where we play several times a week and often have picnics) so we could play football. Isaac wanted to have Little Cesar's pizza, veggies, and fruit. He wanted a "horse" cake (chocolate cake with chocolate frosting---green sprinkles for grass and two fake horses on top.) He also requested that Grandpa Cullum play "Happy Birthday" on his trombone. Everything he wanted happened. It was a lot of fun. He directed the timing of each activity (eating, opening presents, eating cake, playing football, playing at the playground, etc).

On Tuesday we went to see the dolphins at the Clearwater Aquarium and out to dinner at Cody's (also his planning). The dolphins jumped out of the water and got us drenched so that was really fun.

His 3rd birthday has brought a few new things. He got his first backpack to take with him when he is waiting for Prema at school and PT. He has his own workbook so he thinks he is going to school. He is really cute wearing his backpack and watching him put it on. He has also officially been given some chores (folding cloth diapers, picking up the fruit, scrubbing toilet bowls, and taking the recycles out). He is asked to do chores every day but depending on his mood, can do them alone or with mom's "help/ encouragement". And of course 3 years old means 3 minutes of time outs and longer strong sitting time.

We (more I) have had desire to try camping with the kids. I remember the few times we camped when I was little being A LOT of fun. Some friends of ours camp very often with their daughter and invited us to come along for a weekend to try it out. This weekend they were camping an hour from our house so we thought the driving situation was ideal for our small ones. Our friends provided the tent, cooking needs, dinner, entertainment, chairs, etc. All we had to bring was our clothes/shoes, sleeping bags, pillows (which i forgot), sunscreen, toiletries and breakfast....TIMES 5.

One thing we have decided for sure is that camping is not something you try to do with a family of children under 3 years old. Eli tried to eat the entire campsite (ground of sand and shells) the entire time. In his small meals habit, the need to eat every 2 hours was a bit inconvenient. And in addition to those problems is everything related to packing, setting up, taking down, and unpacking with 3 kids that can't be responsible for themselves. We would come home more exhausted than when we left.

So I think for a while we will keep our camping memory of this weekend as our only for a while....playing at the playground on seesaws with bumped and bruised heads (Isaac, Prema, and Tiana couldn't quite coordinate themselves to well), strolls around the campground with the Fullers 3 dogs and talking parrot in tow, eating pizza burgers for the first time, setting up/sleeping in/ and taking down a HUGE tent, trying to sleep during the hours of heavy rain (which eventually crept into the tent), showing at the site, and playing.

We are really thankful for such generous friends to invite us and allowing us to use all of their things freely. It was great to sit and chat parents to parents, but ended early due to the rains. It is definitely something you can see doing again for the kids enjoyment...but probably years down the line.

When we got home our caterpillars, turned pupae inside chrysalis (cocoons are moths not butterflies) turned into butterflies. We released them on Monday night.

Certificate At Last

2008-04-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

After 2 hours at the Immigrations Office today we were given the original Certificate of Citizenship. It was a positive experience, besides the behavior problems Prema had today due to the visit. Seeing her passport again and sitting in a room filled with people of different races, (me being the only white person) and people leaving but never seeing them again is a trauma trigger for her. Hopefully she will be better tomorrow.

Immigrations Again

2008-04-02T19:13:00.000-07:00

Since the last post we have celebrated Isaac's 3rd birthday. When I get more time I'll post about his special celebration.

But you may find it interesting that our government sent us a notice 2 weeks ago that we are to come to the Office of Immigration in Tampa tomorrow morning at 7:30 a.m. to REBUILD the file on Prema. At the bottom it says you must show up unless you have written notice as to why you can't come.

So tomorrow we will yet again make the trip to the office with her, her Indian passport, American passport and Social Security card. Mind you we have made this trip several times before twice requesting a green card so that we could apply for SSN and American passport and the third time to apply for her Certificate of Naturalization at which time we also gave $200 for the certificate which we should have received 9 months later. At each visit I was assured there were no problems even though they couldn't find her file each time we came. (So what did they do with all the paperwork we filled out each time we went?) The initial problem happened when we entered America from India in June 2006. I handed the Immigration Officer a HUGE envelope of paperwork from the past year and a half of the adoption legal documents. Somehow, it was never entered into the computer after he stamped our passports and never seen again. Does this make you trust our government?

birthdays and chasing

2008-03-26T18:23:00.001-07:00

Life has been crazy the past couple weeks with birthday and Easter preparations/ celebrations and chasing kids...but here is a little update.

We celebrated Prema's 9th birhday (legal) on Good Friday night. Kyle's parents and the Heuertz clan helped us celebrate. The week before Prema and I had made 3D butterfly invitations so I carried out the theme with a chocolate butterfly cake that cracked after I frosted it. Luckily it was on a piece of cardboard so we folded it back together for pictures and Prema was satisfied with my solution. She got lost of wonderful presents...mostly clothes to fit her new curves.

Eli is officially a toddler. He started walking unsupported at 10 1/2 months old. He is getting more confident and taking bigger steps. He wore his first pair of shoes yesterday; only his Crocs fit his fat feet. He loves the new freedom to roam the outdoors on the grass and cement without having to scrap up his knees. He gets up on the porch ledge and shouts along with mounting a small tittle trike.

Isaac will be turning 3 on Tuesday. He talks and reasons like a 4 or 5 year old. He has been keeping us busy with constant questions (a lot that the knows the answers to also), debates about what really is true (his world of truth is a bit skewed), and trying new lines and actions to get what he wants so as to appear to not be disobeying. He is also constantly still entertaining us with elaborate pretend play of many things related to church, the ice cream truck, football and now some baseball, Bob the builder/ construction, garbage truck, etc. He definitely keeps melting my heart with his cute facial expressions and "mature" body movements.

A Child mind, A Woman's Body

2008-03-05T06:16:00.000-08:00

Last night we discovered the news I have dreaded for quite some time. Some mothers and daughters celebrate this day as a time of coming of age. I was still hoping yesterday that I had at least 9 more months until the big day. Prema started her first menstrual cycle yesterday. Its a shock to my system. I am overwhelmed with the possible limitations it may hold, as her body (hormones) tell her to be independent and we still fight for attachment. I fear our expectations for learning will be stifled. I am also just dreading the hygiene issues related to it.

Its an odd thing to have a two year old in mind having a woman's body. Prema, not knowing what it really means, is announcing to everyone its arrival with graphic signs (blood flowing from her vagina). After inserting a pad into her underwear she walked with her legs extremely spread apart. Thankfully her teacher saw the humor in it and helped me to laugh about the situation too.

So now I am back to helping all 3 kids with their bathroom needs; changing diapers, wiping poopy butts, and changing pads. I really hope that Prema will be able to do it on her own within couple of months, but she still can't even brush her teeth herself (coordination problems) so it might be too hopeful for the other.

Laugh Out-Louds with Isaac

2008-02-29T10:47:00.000-08:00

On Monday I came out of the bathroom with Eli to find Isaac swallowing a metal ball from our magnet collection. I think he put them in his mouth and intended to spit them out but my appearance scared him, knowing full well they are not to be in his mouth and his immediate response was to swallow them instead of taking them out. I was a little worried but not too much once I realized he was fine. I knew the drill since Eli's penny incident. So I planned on waiting several days. Tuesday morning Isaac went to the bathroom and came to tell me "my poop is making a clink, clink noise". I had forgotten about the balls so I just figured he was making up a silly story as he does a lot recently. Isaac went back on the toilet and then came back a few minutes later to announce that the balls were at the bottom of the toilet. They sure did pass fast. I was surprised to see two and not one.

Today I was cleaning Isaac's room and he asked me if I was going to clean the blood off the sheets from a past bloody nose. I told him I would wash his sheets later. He responded..."well red blood is nice for Valentine's day." okay.

Random Updates

2008-02-23T18:43:00.000-08:00

Our week was filled with the excitement of watching this...

become this...

that is the house that Kyle's grandparents and himself with his parents and brother lived in. The house became to moldy after a leaky roof to remain livable, so hence the demolition. Isaac has been thrilled about watching it all take place. We started watching it on Thursday morning and have taken several trips back and forth between meals and sleep times to see the machines at work and all the rubble taken away. When Isaac has been home is main play is demoing buildings with his own digger and dump truck.

Eli is crawling around and standing up everywhere. This week he has been wanting to follow Isaac outside. He crawls out to the porch, stands up and steps onto the ledge to shout at people and Isaac. He also signed and said "mama" simultaneously the other day.

Prema's language seems to be improving more and more since we started neurofeedback at the language area of the brain 2 weeks ago. She has been able to put together 7-9 signs on one topic...not all in correct order but understandable. This week after neurofeedback and setting up pictures and dolls to represent India/ birth parents and America/ us Prema was signing a lot about a hospital visit where her IV broke and was bleeding and she was told not to pee or poop. We couldn't understand if it was when she had her oral surgery here or her adenoids removed in India. The next day she and I were looking at pictures of her orphanage and she began telling me that the car in the picture was the one she left the hospital in and the same car that took her to school where she peed her pants. These two stories we have not heard before from anyone, but assume they are true. We are very excited that she was able to tell us herself.

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-15T07:27:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, we had fun celebrating Valentine's Day as a family. Last week the Prema, Isaac and I began making their Valentine cards. They each dictated their own list of people to give to and then we began the process of tracing hearts, cutting them out, pasting them on red paper, and stamping their fingerprints around the hearts. The entire creation took about 4 days since their attention span and Eli's willingness to stay out of the activities was limited. Wednesday we made chocolate cupcakes with pink frosting to hand out with the cards.
Yesterday we woke up and got ready for the day, all dressing in red or pink. Then we took Prema to school and Isaac gave one of his valentines to Prema's teacher and Prema handed out some of her valentine's to her classmates. While Prema was school the boys and I visited the Heuertz girls and exchanged valentines.
For dinner Kyle's parents joined us. Kyle's mom arranged a very nice fondue dinner with nice red and white table decorations. While we were eating the fondue rules were established. One rule was that if you dropped something in the pot you then had to either kiss or hug Kyle or myself. This is really a fondue rule, but normally you would hug or kiss anyone you want...not a good idea for a child with RAD so we limited the hugs. After the two fondue trays (veggies with cheese and chocolate with fruit) we then exchanged Valentine cards/ gifts. The kids loved the meal and handing out their cards. The fondue may become a V Day tradition...we'll have to see. Thanks Sandy for your thought and preparation.

2 year old Talking...hmmm

2008-02-10T10:31:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Isaac spoke several sentences at various times that blew us away. He speaks very clearly all the time, with very few mispronunciations. His sentences are become more and more complex, and yesterday was a day filled with the use of big words.
"I am having a CONVERSATION with Dillan."
"I REALIZED when I was at the park that some tree needles stick to my shoe."
and on Friday night sitting by the campfire he recalled a conversation from the week before that he overheard when we had some guests over.
"So do you remember when the Fullers told us the story about Mr. Curt's brother falling in the fire."

Its a lot of fun listening to him talk and carrying on conversations with him. He talks constantly and nothing is filtered so we know everything that is going on in his head. Some of his ideas are right on track and others are a bit amusing.

A New Phase in RAD

2008-02-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

We are entering a new phase in this journey with Reactive Attachment Disorder. We have come to know another family with an adoptive child who is deaf and also has reactive attachment disorder. An important piece of the healing process and home therapy is that the parents are able to take care of themselves first and get relief when they need it. Since we sign and the other family also signs we have decided to help one another. We will be watching the other child whenever they just want to get away on a date or if she becomes violent and extremely disobedient at home. They will be watching Prema under the same circumstances. This can become a very tricky endeavor as we may take on another child for a short time at a moments notice. We are excited to be able to help another family and have options for more relief ourselves. In the past we have interviewed several people for this particular need and have come up without any options due to lack of signing or lack of understanding or willingness to follow through with RAD techniques (some can seem harsh to others). So keep us in your prayers.

Father Isaac

2008-02-03T18:20:00.000-08:00

Along with Bob the Builder and Football, Isaac is very interested in anything to do with Jesus, Fr. Mike and church. It has been an interest consistently for a long time, ever since he sang "Alleluia Bob the Builder" while jumping on the trampoline. He has become extremely observant in church, even repeating things at home that we didn't think he even heard because he didn't appear to be listening or watching. Its very sweet to watch him carry candles and crosses high above his head around the house singing "Alleluia", "Gloria in excelsis Deo", or "This Little Light of Mine". Sometimes he will come around to all in the house and give us a blessing on our foreheads. One time he was sleeping with a book because he thought that is the way Fr. Mike sleeps. Another day he insisted he could not take a nap on his bed because it was the altar and Fr. Mike does not sleep on the altar...I argued his statement recalling Good Friday when Fr. Mike prostrates before the cross on the altar. Isaac bought it and took his nap. From Thanksgiving to New Years we listened to Josh Groban's rendition of "The Little Drummer Boy" sometimes more than 3 times in a row while Isaac played his drums. He loves to dress up as Mary and stuff a baby in his shirt and act out the birth of Jesus. Prema is usually Joseph and I am the Inn keeper. However, when Isaac is Mary he insists that there is room in the inn because there is an empty bed behind me. He will sit at the piano to play and sing his church songs. This week we read the story about Jonah and the whale and drew pictures of the story. Isaac loved talking about the story and looking at his pictures over and over again. Recently he has really enjoyed listening to the Kids' Kingdom on our local Catholic radio station. Throughout the week he will be singing his favorite songs "BAA BAA we're lambs" and "One the Day that______(name) was born". Today it was precious to watch Isaac walk down the isle in church toward Fr. Mike for his blessing. he had made a cross in kids church. All the other kids held them in their hands down at the their sides, but Isaac at the end of the line held his proudly and reverently above his head with both hands. Fr. Mike often says..."one day he may be Fr. Isaac, wouldn't that be cool."
Isaac dressed as Mary...the blue head scarf makes the outfit for him.

Eli 9 mo. old

2008-01-31T04:16:00.000-08:00

Eli is 9 months old. He is crawling all over the place and getting into his brother and sister's way. He is pulling up on furniture tearing down many things and he is also letting go and standing by himself. At his 9 mo. check up yesterday we got good news that the ear infections are gone and one ear is completely drained. The other still has a little bit of fluid but hopefully it will pass soon.

This video was taken while Kyle and I were doing yard work. We have a ball hanging from a tree so that Isaac can practice hitting the ball without having to go and retrieve it all the time. Eli had a blast.

Hold Up Your Cell Phones?

2008-01-26T20:05:00.000-08:00

My friend Karamin invited me to join her to one of her Christmas presents, the Taylor Swift concert. Having no clue as to who she was (as I limit my station listening to classical and Kid's Kingdom on the Christian stations) I agreed for the mere sake of a girls night out with a good friend. It was a lot of fun. Taylor Swift is very talented. No matter how song or voice may sound I admire the ones in the music industry that actually write their own songs and play an instrument...Taylor Swift doing both. Although she is only 17 and most of her songs bring to life her adolescent life she has good lyrics and tunes. Most of the crowd was about the same age, so there was a lot of high pitched screaming at times, and some kids who just don't pick up on the clue to sit when the artist and 90% of the crowd is sitting too. The most shocking thing, as I have not been to a concert in at least 6 + years was the request to hold up your cell phones. In replace of the traditional lighter the audiences are encouraged to hold up their cell phones and move them back and forth. As you look through the crowd it is evident that at least 95% of the people have cell phone...weird especially when you consider the population attending. The sight was quite amusing and surreal...I felt old.

Ear Infection Again

2008-01-23T18:55:00.000-08:00

Poor little Eli has his 4th ear infection since November. He woke up from a nap yesterday evening with a fever and struggled through the night. No cold signs, just the ear ache. He had his last one 2 weeks ago that it seems cleared up but still had fluid in his ears that became re-infected. We went to the doctor this morning and he was given a high dose shot of antibiotic in his leg. Then he begins another round of oral antibiotics tomorrow. If this ear infection doesn't clear up, including the fluid draining completely or he gets another infection he will have to have tubes put in his ears. We are definitely not wanting to go through the surgery and hassle many others have had with tubes. I had to hold Eli practically all day as he is feeling really bad. Hopefully we can all get some rest tonight and have a better day tomorrow.

Family Memories

2008-01-20T17:45:00.000-08:00

I find myself more and more wanting to create family memories for our kids to take with them and possibly pass on and Kyle and I to sit back and remember years from now. I remember always thinking it was a bit silly when my dad seemed to often comment how nice it was to sit together at the dinner table, especially once we had all started to disperse into our own lives. Now I am beginning to understand what it was to him and seem to have developed that same desire for family connectedness. Its interesting how fun to me at this stage of life is almost always a family outing or activity...these days simple and easy to bail out of if it becomes to stressful. More extensive and adventurous trips/ activities wait in my plans until the kids are older. I think it is somewhat natural to want to share memories with your children, but has been more pressing to me since researching developing attachment with children that have attachment issues. It is said that the more happy memories you can form with your adopted child the more likely the bad memories of the past will no longer consume the
child's generalizations about life.

This weekend I noticed the pure joy in Isaac and Prema as we sat around an outdoor fire, worked together as a family to make orange juice, and bundled up to weather the cold for ice cream at the Candy Kitchen. Friday night we ate dinner with Kyle's parents and then had a fire outside on the porch. We made smores, sang and played music together, and the kids danced with some sparklers. Isaac was eager to accompany Kyle with his ukelele. Prema was excited to sign "Silent Night" and dance to music. When the night was over and Isaac was not fully cooperating to get ready for bed I reminded him that his behavior is a direct indicator of whether or not we will have a campfire again...he immediately cooperated and wanted to make sure we would sing again too.

Other parts of the world have snow in winter, we have citrus trees ripe for picking...DELICIOUS. We are lucky enough to 2 grapefruit and 1 tangerine tree in our yard and 2 orange trees in our neighbors yard (that we take care of while they are gone). Isaac, Prema and I are the gatherers and Kyle is the juicer. (Eli just plays on the floor or on the ground outside.) Both Isaac and Prema are thrilled to be the fruit deliverers. I pick from the trees and drop them on the ground and Isaac and Prema race to pick the up and bring them inside. Today Isaac wanted to carry some in his underwear, pockets and shirt...we let him. What a hoot.

Then this evening we ventured out in our Florida cold (45 or so degrees) in hats, sweaters, coats, and pants and tennis shoes for some ice cream It has become a weekly ritual to visit the Candy Kitchen. Kyle's parents used to go on dates there before kids. Kyle and I started going on dates there this past year and slowly it has developed into a weekly family outing with the kids rain, shine, or cold. Isaac became so cold eating his ice cream that we had to sit in the car. Then as we were driving home and he was still eating his ice cream he began announcing with distress "I need to pee, I need to pee." So as any parent of a 2 year old potty trained child, we made a quick judgment call to turn on the next street, pulled Isaac out of the car and had him pee on the street. Better there than in the car seat, but tough to explain to an Indian child who used to only use the street as her toilet that she is not allowed to do the same in America.

Going to School Alone

2008-01-17T10:36:00.000-08:00

Prema had her first week of school going alone and thankfully it was quite successful. At least so far. The funny thing about children with RAD is that it may have been successful at school, with none to minimal behavior problems at school but coming home can be a completely different story. If Prema felt unsafe with the adults in charge and took way too much energy to keep herself "safe" at school she will then fall apart at home. The melt downs at home tend to target the new mom for not keeping her safe like her old mom did. In the past this meant hitting me, kicking me, biting me, pulling my hair, and refusing any form of affection from me. Thankfully the abuse has ended, but sometimes Prema is still unwilling to accept the affection. Other results of the melt down often can involve complete defiance to do anything we ask (including staying in one spot) and constantly trying to annoy me and make me (mom) mad. Sometimes it has gotten to the point of tapping in constantly from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet without stopping to get my attention, following me around everywhere, or doing anything she knows that makes me mad (and sadly there are many). The other side of the coin is that I really struggle to stay calm when she is trying to get my goat...sometimes the deep breaths don't cut it and other other two boys tend to sense my stress and add to it some more.

Last year we realized in October that Prema had Reactive Attachment Disorder and was not ready for school at all. She didn't see Kyle and I as authority, had no conscience and was functioning like a 1 year old. In school she was falling apart at recess and lunch. We got reports of her stabbing kids with sticks and trying to choke them. We also were told she couldn't sit still and needed a weight jacket to keep her calm on the carpet. We learned about attachment therapy at home and started in the end of October. Prema went crazy with the beginning of the therapy. Once our expectations increased with self motivation, thinking and doing for yourself, and challenging her idea that she was in control she was furious. In her fight for control she destroyed her room in rages and refused to do anything for days (literally 3 days standoff to pick up some palm seeds). The stories are endless. We immediately kept her out of school for a week to prove to Prema we were in control and would wait her out. After 2 weeks at home, the school allowed me to shadow Prema at school for 2 weeks. In that time it was very evident that Prema was drowning. She didn't have the language, basic knowledge, maturity, and emotional health to stay in school. We immediately removed her from school for full time homeschooling. During her homeschooling time we tried to focus only on her behavior therapy and getting her to grow emotionally and developmentally through play and helping around the house. Slowly Prema improved in all areas. It was a struggle to have her around all the time, with few breaks. It was a struggle to not be able to spend the time I wanted with Isaac and later Eli. It was also a struggle to hold back and just allow her to be the one, two , three, etc year old that she needed to be knowing she was really 10 years old and still not reading. The teacher in me wanted to pound math, reading and writing into her at times even though I knew it wasn't best for her. Thankfully I had Kyle's mom to help me with the housework and the boys, especially when Prema would resist anything.

This year we decided it was time for Prema to go back to school. She had come along way in attaching to me, had a stronger conscience, knew a lot more langauge and basic knowlege, could sit still for longer periods of time, and was showing she was beginning to be a bit eager to learn standard academics. I had tried and tried at home to teach her the academics myself, but Prema always put up a fight with me (RAD thing) and it became power battles over and over again ultimately not helping our relationship. I wanted and needed to spend more time with the boys but couldn't with Prema home full time because of the difficulty in finding people to watch her (another RAD thing...not just anyone can do it). We knew that it might not be the best thing for Prema to put her back in school but it was better for me and the rest of the family.

In August we contacted the school with our decision to place Prema back in school but requested a meeting with all staff who have worked with Prema in the past and will be working with her in the future. The school was extremely cooperative. The meeting was filled with 19 people in all. We came with our wants and our RAD therapist and Deaf advocate to support our desires and help us make final decisions. People we did not even request attended the meeting such as the principal, head of Deaf Ed, school counselor and psychologist. We left with all of our requests met and a common understanding of what Prema needs for a successful school year.

Prema started school a week later. The agreements from the meeting included a different teacher from last year, no more than 5 half days a week attending school, minimizing the number of adults working with her, no lunch, gym, art or music classes at school, no recess at school, and training of the staff working with Prema by me. We have been elated with how cooperative the school has been. Prema has a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Green, who has become a good friend to me. Mrs. Green has been extremely accommodating to meet Prema's needs along with her OT and PT teachers. Prema is currently attending 3 half days a week, at which time she gets one on one teaching at almost all times for reading, writing, math, and OT and PT. Since August I have been going to school with Prema to train the teachers and help Prema feel safe (not worrying if I had left her there for good). Until the end of December I slowly pulled back month after month, not in my presence at the school but in letting the teachers take control of Prema's behavior management. At the end of December Prema's behavior at home was continually quite good, showing us she was feeling safe at school. We decided that I would start to leave Prema alone with the teachers but remain in the building. Last week she was completely alone at school but I stayed at the school incase there was a problem. This week I was able to come home and be with boys. So far so good.

Prema will continue to go to school alone for a few more weeks before we start to consider increasing her time at school. Logistics with recess, lunch, and other teacher planning times make it a bit messy along with trying to keep the number of adults working with Prema to a minimum.

Another exciting part of this time has been the training portion. Part of my training the teachers included a one hour presentation on how to support the home with RAD children. I was invited by the principal to present to all teachers working with the 3 students diagnosed with RAD that attend Prema's school. Those teachers along with the entire staff of interpreters and other staff members that were interested along with both the principal, asst. principal and head of Deaf Ed attended. I was extremely grateful for the opportunity to help Prema and the other students feel more safe at school. Since the presentation I have seen huge changes in the staff that attended. People are finally ignoring Prema when they are not working with her (she gets easily distracted, and worries about people she doesn't know), her teachers are making very wise decisions to help Prema on their own without consulting me because they have a deeper understanding of what is going on with her, and other students are having better times at school because of changes teachers have made. It was mentioned that I may have the opportunity to present again to the rest of the staff and other parents, but no plans yet. We'll see.

So please just keep Prema, our family and all the teachers working with Prema in your prayers as we all continue to work towards attachment, academic achievement (still so much ground to make up), and an emotionally healthy child.

Hairs Cut

2008-01-13T13:02:00.001-08:00

My mom and dad are in town for a visit. When Grandpa Pletzer comes to visit we all get our hair cut. For each child I have waited for my dad to do the honors of the first hair cut. So this time, Eli was ready to have his cut. He did fairly well letting Grandpa do his job considering it was past his bedtime and the hair starts to itch. Thanks Dad!